Devil Master, on 16 April 2013 - 12:37 PM, said:
Blame Duketurds for that.
Do you know who Duketurds (with a U) are? They are those Duke haters who happen to enjoy Duke3D, so they convinced themselves to be hardcore fans.
Ever read posts by people bashing every suggestion to have more character depth "because Duke is just a 1980s action hero parody"? People hating puzzles, scripted sequences and interactivity "because Duke doesn't do that", in fact, hating everything except shooting large amounts of cannon fodder enemies in wide areas? People hating Duke games with a plot "because Duke doesn't need a plot"? People who want the next Duke game to be "more like Duke3D, but better, by which I mean changed in a way that keeps it the same"? People who wanted boob physics to be the best part of DNF? Those are Duketurds.
That was my issue with them as well. I have never learned to hate the word 'parody' before I came to Gearbox forums. "Duke is a action hero parody" -Duketurds. "Duke's (DNF) world is a funhouse mirror!" Randy Pitchford. To me, 'parody' is just a lame excuse to fling all sorts of ridiculous poo into a game and hope it sticks. I hated the way DNF's people, places and things revolved around Duke like he was the singularity of some bastard black hole, sucking so hard that not even light could escape.
Also, I had posted various story ideas throughout my posting history on there about really showing the all out horror that an alien invasion could produce, like watching police officers and military screaming and writhing in pain as they were slowly transformed into pigcops, going through blackened areas of the city and passing by crying or dead civilians, that sort of thing. Some people did agree with me, but the Duketurds often would say, "Oh but that's too dark for a Duke game. Duke is supposed to be funny." I thought "Really!?" Do Duketurds really think that in a real alien invasion like that it would be fun and games, and that you wouldn't see some serious messed up stuff? Or that the aftermath of it all would just evaporate into thin air once Duke strides off into the sunset?
I'll tell you what would happen. A Duketurd would be hiding under his/her bed crapping pants and hoping the aliens would be oh-so-nice and not nuke their house, and that magically they'd go away but oh-no-they-won't because this is real. Then as they crawl out from under their mattress bomb shelter and see the open front door, who do they meet but a big ugly pigcop and his partner standing in the foyer! Oh but these aren't the goofy cartoonish DN3D pigcops of yesteryear or the pigapes of DNF. These guys are actually scary and packing full police armor and auto shotties! Now they are staring at the Duketurd in a not-so-nice manner, a lovely 'We'll kill you" for the boys or a "We'll have fun with you" for the girls. The Duketurd gets an eyefull of razor-sharp tusks and red eyes, short ugly snouts and bulging muscles, and the heady funk of men-turned-pigs sweating in their armor. Duketurd for once shows common sense and runs like the LooneyToons Roadrunner, knowing that if they stick around, there would be much unpleasantness.
Out the door and through the woods, over the hills we go! Oh dear, but now we got a problem. There are aliens afoot, doing dastardly alien stuff! These bad beings aren't the ones the Duketurd knows. These are the oh-my-gosh scary kind! But the brave Duketurd (and oh are they brave) forms a cunning plan. And it's a good one, because Duketurd thought it up. Duketurd will save the world, and be like Duke! Duketurd spins around to sprint away and and... smacks into the pigcops they forgot about. Silly Duketurd. These guys don't stay in one little sector you know, or get stuck on some hidden unaligned vector like the game ones do! Run little Duketurd, because now the aliens are looking at you too!*
*Sorry, Duketurds just irritate me that much. I can't help it. They are the bane of Dukedom.
Boob physics? Yeah they wanted that too. I can't tell you how many times some male Duketurd wanted to opine about the endless possibilities of 'jiggle physics." Boobies, boobies and more boobies, and the hopes of a few that DNF could be an Adults Only game. Just so they could stare at pixelated tits and vaginas and Duke doing sex acts. Even some of the female posters got into defending it too, going into odd crap posts about them having a bunch of sex partners and saying how 'free' they were with their sexuality, and that because of this, there should be boobies boobies and boobies for the men to oggle at. All stripes of Dukey diarrhea, and the women get the most purile about it because they want to show how 'modern women' they are.