[Master Fibbles]

I am currently seeking readers and editors interested in helping me with a book. Although language skills is a plus, they are not necessary. However, a sense of humor is needed. More information will be made available to takers. This is a book about the Bible -- mostly translation and interpretation.

I'm just throwing this out in general. I have a few friends in mind but I figure more thoughts on structure and style can't hurt.

[ReaperMan]

Mr.Flibble, on 27 May 2011 - 07:59 AM, said:

I am currently seeking readers and editors interested in helping me with a book. Although language skills is a plus, they are not necessary. However, a sense of humor is needed. More information will be made available to takers. This is a book about the Bible -- mostly translation and interpretation.

O' really? So its a book that jokes about the bible?

[Master Fibbles]

Sort of. Since Greek and Hebrew are rather diverse, you can translate parts of the Bible in some pretty funny ways. It helps that English has lots of idioms etc that weren't in existence then also. For example (what I just finished) the Greek word for "dog-fly" is a slang term for impudent women. One of the plagues in Exodus against Egypt was the plague of the impudent women.
God moons Moses, Moabite guards have a dance party while their king is killed, Paul talks about irritable bowel syndrome being a hindrance to evangelization...I found some fun stuff mostly on accident. I'm still hoping I'll find other stuff so as to cover most of the parts of the Bible.

[ReaperMan]

Mr.Flibble, on 27 May 2011 - 10:02 AM, said:

Sort of. Since Greek and Hebrew are rather diverse, you can translate parts of the Bible in some pretty funny ways. It helps that English has lots of idioms etc that weren't in existence then also. For example (what I just finished) the Greek word for "dog-fly" is a slang term for impudent women. One of the plagues in Exodus against Egypt was the plague of the impudent women.
God moons Moses, Moabite guards have a dance party while their king is killed, Paul talks about irritable bowel syndrome being a hindrance to evangelization...I found some fun stuff mostly on accident. I'm still hoping I'll find other stuff so as to cover most of the parts of the Bible.

Hmm... Interesting i might be willing give it a read through.

[Jeff]

Just made this video. It's pretty damn funny. Basically, Harbinger assumes control of Tiger Woods and sends his ball into the ocean.

[Micky C]

The video was ok, but I assume I'd enjoy it more if I knew who Harbinger was.

[Master Fibbles]

Mass Effect 2

That was kind of anticlimactic.

[Jeff]

Harbinger is a Reaper. Basically, he's a big warship kind of. In Mass Effect 2, he assumes control of this insect race called the Collectors and while on the battlefield, starts taunting Commander Shepard or the crew. You only got to see what he looks like at the final seconds of the game when the Reapers descend upon the Milky Way Galaxy in preparation for Mass Effect 3.

[Yatta]

Got this in my Duke4.net inbox today. Thought you guys might like it.

[Master Fibbles]

Natural and Quality websites? I didn't know you could have natural websites. Does this mean there are also free range websites? You know, ones that were treated humanely before being slaughtered and eaten?


Although, you should have asked to see the natural sites because you can't take a woman on her word that they are natural.

[TerminX]

I had a gallon of milk come apart and spill all over the kitchen the other day. I sent this letter to the dairy that produced it:

Quote

I recently bought a gallon of your milk and am thoroughly unimpressed with the quality of the jug.

What should have been the simple act of putting some milk in the refrigerator quickly became a horrific ordeal wherein I found myself facing a nearly insurmountable foe: a goddamn lake of milk where my kitchen should be.

As I fell to my knees in tears, my wife started screaming like a lunatic. Succumbing to defeat, I lay in my milky grave and spied the ruptured chalice which once held my creamy treat. Somehow, the side had blown out.

As I pounded the ground with my soggy fist, I screamed "why doth thou betray me, milk jug? What have I done to deserve this miserable fate?"

The milk had no answer.

What a waste of four bucks.

They seem like a pretty good bunch of people, because they followed up and gave me some coupons for free replacement of the milk and for a free half gallon of ice cream.

[Micky C]

That letter was hilarious! Was it an email or an actual letter? It seems that if you complain about any company's products, they'll usually send you free stuff.

[TerminX]

It was an email more or less... I filled out the form on the dairy's site to submit comments and concerns. They called me a few days later and when I forgot to return the call, they actually emailed me about it too. They really wanted to give me coupons!

Unfortunately, when I had the Worst Cinnamon Roll Ever a few weeks ago, the company that made it didn't respond to my complaint at all. It probably didn't help that I told them the icing reminded me of the rubber skin covering early model terminators and that I was forwarding a copy of my complaint on to my attorney as documentation in case I got sick and died from it. Oh well.

Ah, here's what I sent about that:

Quote

Dear Mrs. Freshley's,

I am writing to you about the horrid abomination your company refers to as a Texas cinnamon roll. This is quite possibly the worst example of mass produced breakfast junk food I have ever had the misfortune of tasting.

The "icing" on top was similar in texture and taste to the nasty layer of skin found on top of grade school cafeteria nacho cheese. It also reminded me greatly of the latex skin covering the evil robotic murder machines from The Terminator. This is not good.

Please stop making this product at once and promptly fire whatever unfortunate fuckwit had the utter gall to concoct this "recipe."

Also, please note that I am CCing this to my attorney as documentation in the case that I accrue any future medical expenses as a direct result of consuming this product; in particular, I am referring to the somehow both stale AND undercooked pale underbelly of the beast, conveniently hidden by the aforementioned pasty white deathglaze.

Sincerely,
Dr. Richard C. Gobeille

Clearly whoever read that one didn't have a sense of humor. Seriously though, it was the worst breakfast I've ever had. I'm a big fat motherfucker who consumes pretty much any sweets I can get my hands on () and I refused to eat more than a couple of bites. The sad thing is, my wife bought two of them, so I tried the second one as well just to make sure the first one being bad wasn't a fluke, and, well, it wasn't. So goddamn nasty.

[Micky C]

Hmm I guess there's a difference between food tasting crappy, and falling apart and spilling all over your floor, creating a potential risk of slipping and breaking your neck or causing damage to furniture.

My aunt (who's italian - no blood relation) recommended a product to some friends and family, and afterwards rang the company up and told them more people were buying their product because of her. They must have picked up on the accent or something because they offered to fly her to another state so that she could work for them.

[ReaperMan]

Yatta, on 28 May 2011 - 07:08 PM, said:

susanthreeway.jpg

I love what you named the picture.

[Jeff]

We had an Antonov 124 fly out of here this morning. Quite rare. The massive Antonov 225 sometimes flies out of Edmonton.

[Mr.Deviance]

Jeff, on 30 May 2011 - 08:46 AM, said:

We had an Antonov 124 fly out of here this morning. Quite rare. The massive Antonov 225 sometimes flies out of Edmonton.

Wow, never seen such flying monsters in my entire life and probably never will.
I wonder how it would feel to have one of them fly 30 meters above your head at at a high speed over a long flat field.
It would probably be an unique life experience that you wouldn't soon forget.

[TerminX]

At 30m, the turbulence would probably send you flying or you'd end up sucked into one of the engines. You wouldn't forget it, but you probably wouldn't survive either.

[Jeff]

Some people getting blown off a beach by a Boeing 747

I guess the jet blast from a 747 would be comparable to the An-124 since they are sort of similar where they have four engines. Don't know if they produce the same amount of thrust though.

Edit: I guess the An-124 produces about 51,000 lbs of thrust and the 747-400 produces 59,000 to 63,000 lbs.

Antonov 225 landing in Edmonton

[Master Fibbles]

On of my older brother calls me today and says (I didn't pick up) that he has a plan for a website but I'd have to do all the work...I'm almost afraid to ask him what his idea is. He always has strange ideas. Of course, a few of his more outlandish ideas could probably be successful, but he never follows through.

[Hank]

http://www.nvidia.co...orever-web.html
another link to enter nVidia's party for Duke. Must be 18+.

[ReaperMan]

I'm going to be staying up late tonight just to play the demo, i can't wait.

[Master Fibbles]

Weird, right now there is almost that record number of active people online. Maybe I should buy DNF just so I can fit in or something, you know, be cool.

[Hank]

Mr.Flibble, on 02 June 2011 - 06:32 PM, said:

Weird, right now there is almost that record number of active people online. Maybe I should buy DNF just so I can fit in or something, you know, be cool.

You are cool. You are a fan. Cain't get cooler.

[ReaperMan]

Mr.Flibble, on 02 June 2011 - 06:32 PM, said:

Maybe I should buy DNF just so I can fit in or something, you know, be cool.

I am in utter shock... are you saying you didn't pre-order DNF!?!?

[Master Fibbles]

I only just today got a job for the summer (and the future, but for the summer was important). I have a serious cash flow problem right now.

Spoiler

It could be worse. I mean, I could have a serious urine flow problem too

Besides, on principle, I don't pre-order things unless I've tested them out before hand. I used the Windows 7 Beta so I felt comfortable pre-ordering it (it was also cheaper to pre-order at that time). Since there was no demo of DNF, I don't know if it will be worth $50.

[Hank]

I can't wait for midnight Texas time. So I did another snapshot, of this night. Imagine the action when the game hits the street.
Fuck, 1999, a long time, that was

[ReaperMan]

I bet Duke4 is going to have the most people it has ever had online soon.

[Kathy]

I don't get it. Is it because of the demo? Because I am not excited about the demo in any way. Why should I? The game is coming out in a week for Satan's sake!

[Hank]

Helel, on 02 June 2011 - 08:28 PM, said:

I don't get it. Is it because of the demo?

It's because of the fans. I would never post a snapshot of a demo or game. This was a historical event, and unlike sAtan I do the Jesus and save