Coryyne, on 29 July 2014 - 10:25 PM, said:
As soon as I go out in public that barrier of confidence breaks down.
You become the acts you do, over time. Try to give less of a fuck what other people think (especially those people who mean nothing to you) a little bit more over time and eventually you could break out of this cycle of fear, and that's all it is.
Try to embrace the fear as a challenge a little bit at a time, after a while if it doesn't crush you, you become very strong. You can train the mind like the body to become stronger, and like the the body it can be painful but after a while you see results and that pushes you further.
When your main problems exist only within your head, it's up to you to find them and break them down, public opinion changes drasticlly over time no need for you to wait for others to catch up.
Fuck drugs, do drug to have fun not to hide from yourself, they will only make you weaker in the long run unless you suffer from serious chemical imbalances.
I have seen a few photos of you and I had no idea you were trans anything, you look like a regular rock girl, try not to be so paranoid.
You should put yourself in situations you don't like and learn how to adapt to the things that set you off.
Think about it this way, how many times have you seen someone that you noticed on the street or in a bar or where ever, like they had a strange haircut or walked funny or drove a squealing car, now ask yourself, did you give a shit? Did you dwell on that?
You would be very wrong to think that strangers give a shit about you, so why should you give a shit about a thought that may or may not enter that strangers head for a couple of seconds before being forgotten forever?
Projecting your own insecurities on to strangers...drop it.