[Roastedzerg]

Using the solo gameplay rules for the Duke Nukem Tabletop Meltdown roleplaying game, I'll be running through my own version of the story for DNF, using a mix of plot points from the 2001 outline and the good stuff from the 2011 version we got. With the unpredictability of an rpg game, your in for a wild ride!
In addition to what i post here you can actually watch the episodes on my channel with cool sound effects and music to really bring the story to life.

https://youtube.com/...qgZUTbmzwCLVT6Q

Without further ado, i present to you the first episode of Duke Nukem Evermore, enjoy!

Episode 1: The Peaceful Invasion

Burning down like a meteor through the crimson skies, Duke Nukem sees towering skyscrapers steadily sweeping up towards him. Fires rage among them, large hellish flames that threaten to engulf the entire city in a suffocating black smoke. As buildings zoom past, and he rapidly accelerates towards the dark pavement below, Duke reaches instinctively for his jetpack. To his grim surprise however, he realizes its absence! Infact, he finds he is stark naked, with nothing to slow his descent. He lets out a terrified scream as the concrete rushes into view! His eyes squeeze shut, awaiting the fatal impact. SPLOOSH! Suddenly Duke finds himself floating in a gorey sea of blood and entrails. Duke can barely see a short distance through the murky depths. The gurgled scream of a woman is heard behind him, and Duke spins around just in time to see the anguished face of his lost love, Lani, as she is pulled away into the darkness. Gritting his teeth, Duke frantically swims towards her shadow as she is pulled further and further away. Suddenly, the shadow grows immense in size, and ominous glowing red eyes peer back from the depths at him. The beast opens its large, gaping maw filled with sharp, jagged teeth that go all the way down to its throat. Lifting his hands, Duke realizes he is holding tightly onto a chaingun cannon. He draws the barrels up towards the monstrosity as it creeps closer, and begins pumping a steady stream of bullets through the liquid, tearing into the creature's unflinching face. A deep, bellowing voice echoes in Duke's mind, "You can't save them." as the jaws begin to close around him. Grotesque bubbles drain from Duke's lungs as he desperately hammers more lead into the beast, to no avail. With a gut wrenching snap, his entire world goes dark.
Duke lunges up in his bed with a start, his heart pounding in his chest, and sweat pouring down his face. Looking around, he finds himself in his bedroom, the curtains fluttering from the breeze slipping through the open window. Tightening his fist, he feels the rough grip of a glock 19. Duke lets out a sigh of relief as he sets the gun back on the nightstand beside him. Rubbing his eyes, he throws off the blankets, then makes his way to the kitchen for a cold one. "Damn these nightmares..." Duke murmurs as he grabs a bottle of Jack from the cupboard. He pours the whiskey into a small glass, brings it up to his lips, and takes a swig of the bitter liquid. Leaning over the counter, Duke watches the ice float slowly in the glass, until an icy breeze brushes against his flesh, and Duke turns to shut the window. Reaching for the frame however, Duke stops dead in his tracks, his face flushes white with shock. His grip tightens, and the glass in his fist shatters with a mix of blood and alcohol. Looming over the brightly lit city of Vegas, pulled from the depths of his dark nightmare, awaits the enormous and menacing alien mothership. Duke rushes to his bedside, arms his pistol, then begins tearing through the nightstand, producing 2 additional magazines. Just as he turns to retrieve the rest of his gear from the closet, his phone begins to ring. Pressing the cell to his ear, a gravelly voice emits through the tiny speaker, "Duke, it's Graves..." "I know who the fuck it is! I don't have time for this shit! The alien bastards-" Graves cuts Duke off, "Are here to propose a peace treaty with Earth. We received a communications link with the alien empire a few days ago and have agreed to set up a meeting to discuss the arrangement." Duke grinds his teeth, "Fuck that! And fuck the EDF! Those interstellar sacks of shit don't deserve anything more than my boot up their collective asses!" Duke racks a bullet into the chamber of the glock. "Stand down Duke! That's an order! I know how much this fires you up, and I don't like it one bit either, but we both have orders from the president NOT to engage! Those bastards had their asses kicked pretty hard last time, and might think twice before pulling that shit again." Duke rolls his eyes, "It's obviously a trap, they're just waiting for our pants to drop before they fuck our asses!" "The EDF won't allow that to happen, Duke. We'll play their little game for now, but I'll be damned if we're gonna let those alien scumbags get the jump on us. The president has arranged the meeting to take place at the Hoover Dam tomorrow evening around 5pm. Why the Hoover Dam? Hell if I know. Keep it far away from the white house I suppose. At Least our Nevada EDF branch will be close at hand if shit hits the fan." Duke snorts a laugh. "Relax Duke, and get some sleep, tomorrows gonna be a long day." The phone clicks. "Peace treaty my ass." Duke tosses the cell phone on his bed, then turns towards the window to face the mothership, "You slimy maggots aren't fooling me, not for a single second. Make one wrong step, and your entire species will have to be scraped off the bottom of my boot." Duke glares out the window for a moment, then turns towards his bed. Sitting down on the bed, a picture of Lani stares back at Duke, her eyes piercing into his own. Duke abruptly stands back up, then feels a trickle slide down his hand. He glances down at the bloodied limb, shards of glass still protruding from it. "ehh where'd I leave that damn bottle..."
The sun begins to rise in the misty morning. Having stayed up the whole night unable to sleep, and sporting a light buzz, Duke decides to do some quick reconnaissance. Duke throws on some street clothes, a light blue shirt with some jet black jeans, complements of his signature motorcycle boots and cool shades. He grabs his black leather jacket, and heads out the door of his penthouse, located on the 25th floor of The Lady Killer Casino, owned by the King himself. Walking through it's beautiful velvet lined hallways, Duke makes his way to the elevator. The doors open to a small, round elevator with full glass walls, showing a birds eye view of the gorgeous Las Vegas city. Lights glimmer and shine in the dim morning light, the sun crests the western mountains, and dark clouds, a very rare sight in the desert, form overhead with orange and black hues. Duke hits the button for the 1st floor, then looks back out the window. The immensity of the mothership nearly blots out the sky, stretching over the entire city, threatening to choke it out like a toxic smog. The elevator begins to descend rapidly. Duke notices a dozen or so more large battleships flying out of and around the mothership. "Making your invasion plans huh? Go ahead, make my day." Upon reaching the ground floor, Duke heads straight for the exit. On his way, he catches worried mumbles being passed between the early morning gamblers. Near the entrance, Duke hears a pair of very distinctive, and very annoying, voices call out to him from the check in desk. "Yoo hoo Dukie!" The voices, speaking in-sync with one another, belonged to the Wholesome twins, a couple of porn stars Duke had been hooking up with lately, though he'd been quickly growing tired of their ditzy personalities. Duke smiles, "Another time ladies-" "What's going on Dukie? Are the aliens gonna, like, attack us or something? Those buttholes better not ruin our photoshoot tonight or well be, like, totally freaking pissed off." Duke's eyes roll behind his glasses, "Everythings gonna be fine girls." With that, and a small wave, Duke makes his way out the door.
The city is rather bustling, many of it's citizens stand outside their homes and businesses with looks of terror on their faces. Traffic, both ground and air, is really congested as well, with many lined up bumper to bumper. "Hmm, it might be best to take the ol' cruiser out for a ride. She must be feeling a bit lonely by now." Duke shoots a glance up at the mothership, "Stay right there sweetheart, daddys coming to visit." With that, he makes his way to the parking garage. Duke stops by the parking attendants booth. A young, preoccupied teenager lazily looks up at Duke from his portable game console. "What do you want?" "Need the key to the yellow bay, gonna take the cruiser out." A sly smirk forms on the boys face, "Oh you want the RED keycard actually, ya see we had to move it over to another bay, leaky roof you understand." Duke throws an irritated look at the kid, "Got no time for your games right now Jimmy. Yellow keycard, NOW, or I'll turn you into a universal keycard, by shoving each and every one of them up your scrawny little ass." The kid scowls, tosses the card to Duke, and returns to his game. Duke shakes his head, then walks down to the bay doors. Duke slides the card into the reader, and the door quickly rattles its way up. There, sitting under a single hanging light, is one of Duke's most prized possessions, other than his guns of course. A sleek, cherry red cruiser motorcycle, fit with a turbo booster and built in shotgun holster. Duke walks over to the bike, drawing out the chrome plated shotgun, examining it, then sliding it back into the holster. Opening the saddlebag on the back, Duke finds 2 small medkits, 6 shotgun shells, and 2 more pistol magazines. "Cool, let's roll." Just as Duke settles into the seat, his stomach bellows out, reminding him that he's pretty damn hungry. He kicks the bike into a rumbling start, shifts it into gear, then speeds out into traffic. Sweeping past the congested traffic and winding down the curvy roads, Duke heads for his favorite sushi restaurant, Seiniku. Upon arrival however, a closed sign hangs on the door. Ink is hand written on the sign reading, 'Went to check out the aliens at Duke Burger. Come back later!' Duke turns his head back towards the towering spire in the distance, a giant hamburger settled on the top, visible from anywhere in the entire city. The large mothership nearly scrapes the tower, and even more spaceships dot the sky. "Hmm, I think I'll help myself to a burger, with extra bacon." Chomping down on a fresh cigar, Duke speeds down the highway.
The clouds become darker, and tiny droplets of rain begin to lightly tap on Duke's jacket, as he parks the bike and makes his way to the entrance of the tower. The building's interior is rather intricate, with milky white marble floors, tall painted ceilings, and huge windows presenting a fantastic view of Vegas. A large oak desk sits in the center of the large, open room, a gold and silver chandelier hanging overhead of a busy looking receptionist. Duke looks around for a way to the upper levels, and spots an elevator to his right, just past the desk. Duke walks over to the doors, clicks a cheeseburger shaped button for the top floor, and a quick chime of his rock song Grabbag plays when pressed, Duke chuckles, "Cute." After a minute, the doors open with a small ding, and a small crowd departs. Duke and a few others exchange places with them. The doors close, and the elevator begins to ascend. A small voice pipes up, "Oh my god! It's Duke Nukem dad!" Duke glances over to see a small preteen boy and his father, staring at him with starry eyes. Duke smiles and nods. "Duke! I'm a huge fan of yours! I've seen all your movies, played all the video games, and can't get enough of your action figures! Will, uh, will you please sign my book?" To his own amazement, the kid actually produces a copy of Duke's autobiography, 'Why I'm so great'. "Damn kid! For a hardcore fan like yourself? No problem." He clicks a pen from his pocket, signs the front of the book with gold ink, then reaches into another pocket, and reveals a pristine pair of shades. "And here, a future alien ass kicker needs to look good." He hands the glasses to the star struck boy. "HOLY HELL! Thank you Mr. Nukem!" He turns over to his dad, bubbling with excitement, and immediately throws the oversized shades onto his small face. Finally, the doors open to the lingering smell of cooking meat, and all the passengers disembark.
The restaurant is quite large, with tables strewn about the room, and another very large room to the side, with spiraling slides, ball pits, arcade machines and the like. The whole room is white, with red and gold accents, and Nukem memorabilia all around. The place is unusually packed, many of the patrons are lugging around cameras and frequent flashes light up the room, with many news broadcasters on the scene. From his current vantage point, it's hard to make out the scene everyone is crowded around, but he's got a pretty good idea of what it might be. Duke walks to the ordering line, with 3 others ahead of himself. Duke glances over, but the crowd is still too thick to see through. A few moments pass, and the line moves forward a little. A small opening appears, but he can only make out some vague shapes. The line inches forward some more, and Duke hears a loud snort emit from the crowd. He looks over, and sees hunching over a messy table, 3 alien pigs sloping up a heavy amount of burgers, shakes, and fries. Suddenly, Duke sees one of them quickly throw his head up from the muck with an abrupt oink, then turn its head to meet Duke's gaze. The whole room seems to drop dead silent, as Duke's eyes begin to burn and his heart begins pulsing adrenaline through his blood stream. The glock in his jacket almost twitches with anticipation. Glancing at the nearby cameras, Duke is reminded of his presidential orders. "Uhhh, 'scuse me, can I take your order sir?" Snapping back to reality, Duke turns to the counter and notices a considerable gap in the line ahead of him. A young woman with a burger hat on her head, and an annoyed look on her face, stands behind the cash register. Duke casts a quick look back at the pigs, who have gone back to slopping about their chow. "I just lost my appetite." and he turns back the way he came.
Duke begrudgingly makes his way back to the elevator. He pushes the button to the first floor. Resisting a very strong urge to return to the aliens and tear them to pieces, Duke rolls his neck with a loud pop then preoccupies himself by checking his watch while he waits. The golden hands show the time is 2:15pm, the meeting will be starting in a few hours. "I'd better hurry, don't wanna miss the party." After what feels like an eternity, the doors finally open, and a couple walk out. "Thank god." Duke sighs as he steps into the elevator, staring out the window to distract himself while the doors slide shut. Just as they're about to seal, however, a large, hairy arm reaches through the opening, grabbing the doors and forcing them back open. An alien pig, twice the size of the three sitting at the table, steps into the cramped elevator, nearly taking up half its space. The two exchange enraged glares at one another, as the doors slide shut again, and the elevator slowly begins to descend. The city scape stretches to meet the dark clouds behind Duke, and a smile forms on his face. "Well, well..." he cracks his knuckles, "guess i'm ordering takeout."
Both lunge at each other, Duke throws a heavy jab, but the pig dodges to the side, then grabs Duke and lifts him up over it's head. Duke struggles to break free from the meaty hands, and manages to loosen one of his arms free. The pig tries to throw him at the window, but Duke takes a handful of the beast's hair and holds on tight. The pig swipes up to grab Duke's arm, but is interrupted when a fist slams into the side of it's sweaty face. The pig grunts, then throws his own punch back in retaliation, but misses as Duke twitches to the side, using the momentum to roll out of the pigs grip, then land with his boots on the ground. The pig snorts, wipes blood from his snout, then sweeps in with a heavy punch. Duke swipes under the attack, then delivers his own quick jab to the pigs eye. The beast lurches back, then throws up his arms in front of his face to block any additional blows. Duke however, has other plans, and slams his boot into the little pig downstairs. The alien winces in pain and lets out a sharp squeal. To Duke's surprise and dismay, the pig recovers quickly, and lands a blow straight to his gut, knocking the wind out of him! Duke flies back and slams against the window with a small crack, his shades falling crooked on his nose. The pig lumbers forward. Duke shakes off the pain and pushes his glasses back over his eyes, "That the best you got, pussy?" Duke throws a punch, but the pug manages to deflect it with his hand. Duke readies a riposte, but is unexpectedly grabbed by the throat, and lifted off the ground. Duke struggles against the tightened grip, by straining the muscles in his neck. As the pig raises his free hand into a clenched fist, Duke slams a knee into the beast's exposed stomach. The pig grunts, but strengthens his grip. Duke chokes, then gets lifted up higher over the pigs head. The alien reels back, then throws Duke into the window, creating a large rupture of cracks in the glass. Landing with a thump on his side, Duke looks up at the elevator panel, showing the elevator only halfway down the shaft! "Fuck me..." Duke grunts, as the beast delivers a heavy kick to his ribcage. Duke winces, then rolls behind the pig. Jumping up, he shoots out a leg into the side of the alien. The pig tries to turn to catch the attack, but is too slow and receives a blow to the ribs. With a sharp squeal, the pig stumbles back a few steps, and slams into the window, shattering it to bits. "Watch your step." Duke retorts, as the beast stumbles out of the opening, and plummets limply into the pavement 10 stories down. Duke hears a small wet splat, followed by many terrified screams below. Duke lets his arms drop to his side, then slumps against the elevator wall. "Ahhh shit..." he spits a wad of blood. Duke reaches into his pocket, producing a bent cigar and a match. He looks down at the cigar with a frown, then shrugs and puts it in his mouth. He strikes the match off the side of his boot, then lights the stogie. As he does so, his eyes flick up to a sign on the opposite wall that reads, 'No Smoking'. He stares at the sign for a second, "Fuck it."

[Roastedzerg]

Episode 2: Vegas Nightmare

After a few moments, and plenty of deep drags from a crooked cigar, the elevator reaches the first floor. “Finally, it took long enough.” Duke stands up as the doors open. As soon as they do, he is bombarded with camera flashes and paparazzi. All of which are speaking at the same time creating a jumbled mess of voices, a few managing to speak over the loud mass. “Duke Nukem, any comments on the dead alien pig that you threw out of the elevator window?” and, “Does this mean we are at war with the invaders?” not to mention, “Have your actions doomed us all? Can I get a short comment?” and on and on they ramble. Duke scowls, and shoves through the cameras, making his way to the entrance, paparazzi hot on his trail. He flings the doors open and looks down at the mangled corpse laying dormant at the bottom of the blood soaked steps, rain water mixing into a reddish pool beneath. “Wow, I guess pigs really do fly. Shame about the landing…” Dark thoughts swim through Duke’s mind, as he peers upwards to the concealed heavens, the dreadful mothership’s gloomy greenish glow lighting up the dark, cloudy sky. “Here we go again.” Right on cue, Duke’s cell begins to ring. “What in Sam’s Hell have you done Duke!? You and that bleeding sack of shit are all over the news, and the aliens are pissed! The president is doing his damndest to smooth over the situation, but those alien maggots aren’t budging!” Duke scrunches his nose, “Those slimy bastards will have nothing to do but budge when they try to get my foot out of their asses. Those cockroaches tried to get the jump on me, fat chance. They never wanted peace, just looking for an easy harvest.” The line goes quiet for a moment. All at once, the speaker nearly blows as a barrage of gunfire and screams blast through the receiver! “Graves!!!” Duke shouts, suddenly feeling the ground beneath him begin to quiver. Around him street debris slowly floats upwards towards the stars. Duke lifts his head to the darkening sky, and lays witness to hundreds of alien battleships, fighters, and RPVs oozing like black ichor from the belly of their keeper. An enormous cannon begins telescoping out from the lower backside of the ship, a sinister green eye piercing its gaze down on the city like a vengeful god, demanding sacrifice. A streak of lightning shoots across the sky, and the rain grows heavier. Duke glances across the city to the Lady Killer Casino in the distance, and he remembers the Omega Cannon that awaits in its bosom.”Shit, I’ve gotta hur-” Duke is cut off, as a devastating green laser beam slams down into the west side of vegas, entire skyscrapers being sliced clean in half! Duke sprints down the stairs towards his bike. He rounds the corner, just in time to see two assault troopers, just about to trash the cruiser. Duke reaches into his jacket with lightning reflexes, and just as quickly sends two bullets shredding into one of the aliens, causing it to crumple to the ground in shock. The second trooper fares a bit better, and the lead only tears through its shoulder. The extraterrestrial beast lets out a roar of pain. “Nobody fucks with my ride.” The alien’s good arm shoots up, squeezing the trigger of his blaster, sending a ball of plasma into the car beside Duke. The trooper hunkers down behind the bike for cover. Duke grits his teeth, “You little shit!” He rushes over to the bike, and attempts to catch the trooper with his boot as he throws it over the seat, but the alien jumps back a few paces as the boot nearly skims the creature’s face. The alien shoots Duke point blank into his hip. Duke winces, then returns the favor, plugging one round into the invaders center mass, and the another between the eyes, sending chunks of brain matter splattering onto the windows of the nearby cars. “Don’t lose your head.” Another ear piercing blast is heard, and a green glow illuminates the city. Duke kicks the bike to a rumble, and cranks back the throttle, tearing off towards the casino at breakneck speed.

Traffic is extremely chaotic, with drivers veering in and out of lanes in an attempt to escape the doomed city. Many cars lay abandoned or in shambles along the road, fires too thick for the rain to extinguish emitting from many of the wreckage. The memory of his infernal nightmare, still vivid in Duke’s mind, spews forth before his very eyes. Duke peels past the destruction. A loud horn is blared to his left, as a large semi truck tears through the intersection, headed straight for Duke! Duke swipes to the right, barely in time as the large vehicle screams by. He makes it a few more yards before another concussive blast rips through Vegas, this time only a few blocks ahead of Duke! Reaching the destroyed streets, he see’s slashed skyscrapers, cut at many varying angles, with plasma still glowing along the sliced edges. Large fallen pieces of building and debris lay smashed between the roads, with many dead and wounded littering the burning ruins ahead. Suddenly, the ground shifts, crumbling ahead of Duke, as another enormous chunk of building slams into the street, crushing all beneath its colossal weight. Duke looks for a way around as he speeds ever closer, and spots a slab of concrete angled upwards protruding from the ground ahead. He aims the nose of his bike at the slope, and guns the throttle. With a rough jostle, Duke feels his weight shift as he soars into the sky above. Looking down, he sees the apocalyptic landscape recede below, then shortly after rushing up quickly to meet him. He braces for impact, then slams into the uneven concrete as he lands, throwing him off the cruiser into the hard pavement.

Rolling to an uncomfortable stop, Duke groans, then lifts his head to look at the condition of his bike, laying on its side a few yards away. The motorcycle seems to have only taken external damage, albeit pretty heavy at that, still managing to idle out puffs of exhaust fumes. “Jesus…” Duke grumbles as he drags himself up to his feet, brushing out the pebbles stuck in his arms. Limping to his bike, he hefts it up, and throws himself into the seat with a grimace of pain. As he begins to take off, yet another loud boom is heard, shaking the world around Duke, followed by the ominous green glow. Duke curses as the beam cuts a crude incision from the side of the casino, but is somewhat relieved to see the blast missing the center mass where the cannon is located. Duke continues to weave between traffic and fallen debris, as the mothership charges yet another round of devastation. In the sky above, hellfire from EDF gunships and alien fighters can be heard being exchanged, followed closely by occasional explosions and the whine of engines failing, then plummeting into the earth below. Some large alien battleships can be seen floating overhead, troops pouring forth into the tall structures abroad, and many RPVs stooping down with small flashes of plasma emitting from their cannons.

A few miles from the Lady Killer, Duke sees two lone RPV units speed past, lift off into the sky, then turn round to face him. Duke slides the shotgun from its holster, flipping it up in a well executed spin that would have impressed the terminator himself. The ships begin to close in, cannons at the ready. Rapidly speeding beneath them, Duke lifts the barrel up towards the RPV to his left, and sends buckshot shredding into its side. The pilot makes an attempt to steady the ship, and successfully does so. Returning fire, the left RPV misses its shot, being too distracted with maintaining control of the damaged ship. The second RPV fires, this time landing a hit on the bike, causing it to swerve on Duke. The bike begins bellowing out black smoke. Duke tries to control the bike, but is violently thrown over the handlebars as the cruiser slams into the back of a turned over car, sending Duke tearing across the concrete road.

Intense pain shoots through Duke’s entire body, as he rolls to a rough stop. Duke bites his lip, and stumbles back to his feet. “Today’s just not my fucking day…” Glancing to the ground, Duke sees his signature sunglasses, shattered to pieces, laying at his feet. The veins in his neck bulge with rage, as Duke begins walking in the direction of the RPVs, and they turn around in the distance. He swipes the shotgun up from the ground, racks a fresh shell into the chamber, and looks for something to give him a little leverage. He spots the turned over car he hit, along with his smashed up cruiser laying beside it. “Those alien bastards are gonna pay for smashing up my ride!” Duke rushes behind the car, and waits for the RPVs. The ships blast two rounds into the underside of the vehicle. Duke boosts himself up onto the side of the car. He pulls up the barrel of the shotgun, takes a steady aim at the wounded RPV as it flies by, and pulls the trigger. The exposed pilot veers to the side, attempting to dodge the projectiles, only to have the right side of his face torn to shreds, and his shoulder ripped from its socket. The RPV drops into the street, slamming into the traffic below in a fiery blaze. Seeing the second ship approaching at low altitude, Duke bends his knees, then springs up just as the RPV flies overhead. He reaches out to catch the ship, but is too slow and swipes nothing but air. The RPV turns around, then speeds back, firing its cannons at Duke, but the hot plasma slams into the car below his feet instead, causing it to teeter. Duke manages to maintain his balance, then crouches low as the ship closes in again, and leaps up. Again the ship flies by, and again his grip misses its mark. “Son of a bitch! They make it look so easy in the movies!” Duke drops down behind the wrecked car again, as the RPV spins around for another sweep. Plasma slaps into the underside of the turned car, and Duke hears a spilling noise, and the waft of gas fumes reach his nostrils. A small ‘woosh’ sound is heard a moment later, and Duke wastes no time as he springs away, behind the cover of a dumpster on the sidewalk. The gas touches the fresh burning plasma, and the car erupts with a large boom! Shards of metal and flame shriek through the air just past Duke. “Damn, need to find some other way to get to that ship…”

Duke Looks around for a higher point to climb, and sees a fire escape just above him, a few feet overhead the dumpster. Duke waits for the RPV to pass. The ship flies by, apparently having lost sight of him. Duke climbs the dumpster, then jumps onto the ladder and climbs up. The menace makes another round, and nearly spots Duke as it does so, but the pilot's eyes pass over his silhouette without notice. Just as the ship flies a few feet from the fire escape, Duke mounts the railing. “Geronimo, you ugly son of a bitch!” Duke yells, catching the alien pilot off guard, causing him to mistakenly swerve closer to the platform. Duke leaps off the railing, and catches onto the side of the RPV! Both Duke and the pilot grapple one another, as the ship swipes to the left and right. They wrestle for control, and Duke manages to catch the pig under its armpit. Locking the arms in place, he uses his freehand to latch onto the pigs mohawk, and tears him out of the seat, throwing the pig out of the RPV! The beast plummets into the hard ground. The ship violently swerves towards the building on Duke’s left, as he jumps into the seat and pulls up on the controls with all his might! The ship zooms up and to the right, nicking the belly of the RPV, receiving only a few minor dents and scratches. Duke sighs, reaches his arm out of the side of the captured RPV with a middle finger salute, then makes haste for the casino.

[Roastedzerg]

Episode 3: The Rough Descent
A streak of crimson screams up from the crumbling streets of Vegas, over the skyscrapers into the hellish sky above. Clouds loom overhead, drenching the concrete below, occasionally lighting up with orange and green bursts of cannon fire and lasers tearing into EDF and alien spaceships alike. Bruised and bloodied, Duke feels his age catching up to him as he navigates the war-torn skies. Twenty years ago, when the alien menace first invaded, he was young and in his prime. God how he could really kick ass back then, how nimble and fluid his motions of combat used to be. Now reaching the golden age of fifty, Duke feels the gathered rust in his joints after years of peace and relaxation. The platinum blond hair he enjoyed in youth, now showed shades of gray, and made the few wrinkles on his face more apparent. Even the pain he used to shrug off without a second thought, lingers longer and with a stronger intensity. Yet given all this, he never felt so alive, he was made for this.

Duke aims his course towards the Lady Killer Casino and cranks the throttle to full speed. “That cannon had better still work after all these years…” In the flash of an instant, three small lasers streak by the stolen RPV, and a fourth slams into the side for a hefty 34 damage. Alarms start blaring in Duke’s ears, and looking out to the side of the ship, his eyes burn from smoke and fire pouring from the wound. “Oh, give me a break. How many times are these bastards gonna trash my ride?” Looking in the direction of the blast, Duke sees a large alien battlecruiser slowly turning its large cannons towards his ship, along with many other smaller cannons. “Ahhhh shit…” Duke quickly drops the ship into a plummet towards the casino rooftop beneath. He glances down and sees an eject button near the seat. He also spots a compartment near his knee and pops it open to reveal a large bottle with a bright red plus on the front. “Thank god.” He sighs, popping the top off the container and guzzling down the golden liquid.

The burning ship screams closer to the casino, and Duke pulls up on the controls in an attempt to align himself with the roof. The yoke, however, is locked into place, damaged from the blast no doubt, and the ship continues to barrel towards the building about two hundred yards ahead. Duke waits a moment, then slams the eject button, launching himself out still buckled into the seat. Duke zooms into the open sky, his new RPV slamming into the rooftop with a concussive blast. Duke winces, “I guess I'll be doing a lot of renovations when this is over… Starting with a skylight…” A second later, a small parachute unfolds from the back of the seat. His descent doesn’t slow much however, and the roof rapidly speeds closer. Duke leans back, hoping to cushion his landing with the seat. Thankfully, it does just that, and Duke only receives some minor bruising when he tumbles onto the top of the casino.

Duke shakes off the stars in his head, and shambles to the nearest stairwell. He places his blooded hand onto a security scanner, and with a chime the door slides open. He draws his handgun, then sweeps the corner as he makes his way down. The lights flicker, and he feels the building shake as another laser slices through vegas. After a single flight, Duke edges open a door to the uppermost floor. As he slowly moves down the dark hallways, a red glimmer catches Duke’s naked eye. He follows the gory pool, spilling fourth from beneath the crack of a dark blue door. Duke checks his magazine, seeing only seven rounds, and quickly loads a fresh mag. Duke slowly opens the door to a dimly lit room, and notices the stream of crimson curve to the left. The light flickers off and Duke can only make out the shape of three hunched over silhouettes at the far corner of the room. Slopping sounds fill the room, and an occasional throaty growl can be heard from the forms. The lights flash back on for a second, and Duke witnesses a nightmarish scene as three alien enforcers feast upon the flesh of what looks to have been a man at one point. The light sputters out, just as three quick flashes are sent into the mass. Two bullets smash into some kind of machine in the pitch, while the third tears into one of the shadows with a wet splatter. “I got your second helping right here fellas.”

The ferocious monsters roar back at Duke. The closest whips around and blasts its arm-mounted machine gun at Duke’s silhouette, but all four shots fly into the darkness around him as the raptor-like beast squints its red eyes in the gloom. The one to the right drops behind some kind of slanted cover, then sends four more shots over the top. More bullets zip past their target into the surrounding drywall with a crunch. The final enforcer rushes behind what looks to be a nearby couch. Then pops out the side and sends more lead Duke’s way. This time, two of the rounds shred into Duke’s leg and hip. The lights flash on for a second, and Duke looks for cover. He sees nearby arcade machines lining the walls and drops behind a hunting game. He leans out to pump three shots into the exposed enforcer unit. The alien crumples to the floor in shock, bleeding profusely. The nearest alien peaks from his cover and sends more shots at Duke. The rounds slam into the arcade machine, sending coin flying and blasting off the butt of one of the light guns. The next alien rushes from the couch to an adjacent large machine, then fires at Duke, and two more bullets pierce his flesh. Duke leans out and sends three shots towards the enforcer behind the slanted pinball machine. One round smashes into a fighting machine, the other two into the alien. Blood spatters onto the glass top of the machine, but the alien presses on. The enforcer on the ground adds more blood to the pool beneath himself. The pinball enforcer pops more shots at Duke, landing another two hits. Duke involuntarily lets out a sharp grunt of pain as the lights cut out again. A satisfied growl emits from behind the cabinet. Duke grimaces as more rounds fly from the back corner of the room. Duke rushes out of his cover, and charges the beasts in the dark, getting within breathing distance of the closest two aliens. In less than a second Duke finishes the prone beast off with a single shot, then plugs two more rounds into the pinball enforcer. “Peek-a-boo motherfucker.” Duke taunts, causing the enforcers to falter and freeze with terror in their eyes. Buying Duke just enough time to pump two more rounds into the pinball alien, killing it outright, then diving behind the machine. The remaining enforcer fires blindly at Duke, all the shots blasting into the nearby walls and carpet. Duke drops the spent magazine to the floor, slapping a fresh one in its place. He leans out to take a single aimed shot at the mostly hidden creature. He squeezes the trigger, sending a bullet into the alien’s exposed leg. The enforcer shrieks, then cowers in the corner behind the large cabinet. Duke smirks, steps out of cover, and slowly walks towards the riddled machine. Sliding to it’s edge, he reaches the pistol around the joysticks, and sends three shots point blank into the terrified target. The gurgled sound of a dying alien seeps from the shadow, and a lifeless extraterrestrial beast flops near Duke’s boot with a slop.

Duke rummages through the corpses, finding fifty rounds of ammo for a chaingun cannon. Searching the room, he finds ten shotgun shells hidden below the hunting game. He swaps to the shotgun and loads two fresh shells. Duke walks back into the hallway and continues on to his goal. Soon, he sees an adjoining hallway branch to his left, and he turns into it, shotgun at the ready. A beam of light shines overhead into the dark hall. Pieces of the shattered RPV lay scattered on the torn-up floor. The light rests on a round platform with Duke’s nuclear sigil carved into it, another security scanner juts out from the floor nearby. Duke cautiously makes his way to the spot, passing walls lines with photos of his many adventures in times of peace, from his climb up Mt. Everest, to one of his many walks in space. None of these eased his troubled mind however, as yet another ghastly blow is dealt to the surrounding city. Some of the frames shake off the wall and shatter glass across the tile floor. Duke rushes to the platform, and suddenly stops as a dusty case on a bolted down display podium catches his eye. He reaches out to the glass and wipes clean the twenty years of collected dust. A single polished red orb stares back into Duke. The menacing red eye of the long dead Cycloid Emperor, still glowing with life since the day it was torn from its abysmal socket. Duke glares back hard into its evil pupil. “You disgusting bastards don’t know when to quit. This time I’ll make sure to whip your shit stain of a species from the face of existence.” A familiar voice suddenly bellows in Duke’s mind, “Try as you will, your time is already spent. The clouds of Armageddon already loom, soon we will harvest this speck of cosmic dust, and this pathetic galaxy will fall beneath the might of the Kyrr. For we are many. You are but one.” Duke’s eyes widen with horror, and in the next instant his clenched fist smashes into the glass, splattering the fleshy globe into a bloody pulp. In the same moment, he slams his palm onto the scanner, and the platform below begins to ascend with a hiss. “Sorry to break it to ya pal, this galaxys already got a king.”

[Roastedzerg]

Episode 4: My Guns Bigger

The platform Duke Nukem stands upon begins slowly rising to the ceiling, as a hidden circular opening slides ajar to accommodate the lift. Duke picks out bloody shards of glass from his hand as the platform settles into the hidden floor of the casino. The room is very large and shaped like a dome, with curved metal blast shutters blotting out the natural light. In the center, awaits a single chair, with three screens mounted in front. Duke settles into the cozy seat. At the end of each arm, control sticks and buttons protrude out. Below the large center screen, a big round button with his sigil awaits. Duke thumbs the disk, and the monitor lights up with a ding, followed by a message scrolling across the screen, ‘Password required’. Duke jams the joystick and buttons in the pattern, ‘Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A’ then he reaches over and pushes the start button again. All the monitors light up, and a small compartment opens near the left screen. Duke reaches in, and recovers two pairs of shades, one a classic black, and the other a crimson red. He pockets the red pair, and slips the other over his eyes. To his right, a small, round slot zips out a fresh cigar. Duke puts the stogie between his teeth, and lights it up with a puff of smoke. “Let’s rock.”

Duke presses a red glowing button, and the metallic sliding from the shutters fills the space of the room. Once again, the apocalyptic sky unfolds overhead, and he sees the Mothership and her spawn laying waste to the cityscape below. With a heavy KACHUNK, the entire Dome is jostled, as an enormous set of dual cannons extend from the base of the dome. “How about a taste of your own medicine.” The guns slowly lurch up to face the destructive laser cannon protruding from the Mothership. At that moment, Duke notices a strange cosmic oddity, as the dark clouds above the Duke Burger Spire in the distance, begin to form into a spiraling tunnel of sorts. The frequency of thunder and lightning increases to mere minutes, and the rain falls violently onto the glass overhead. Duke’s grip on the controls tightens, he looks back at the Mothership, and a second later his thumb slams down on the trigger! A timer slides onto the screen, “one minute warmup, please wait.” Duke feels his core tighten, “Shit, I forgot about the goddamn warmup…” Something catches Duke’s eye to his left past the glass, and he turns to see three alien fighters speeding his way rapidly, cannons at the ready! Duke flips controls to the left monitor, and four small cannons rise from slots in the rooftop a few yards away from the Dome. Duke trains his sights on the closest ship, raindrops pitter pattering all over the lens of the camera. He takes a deep drag from the cigar, then glances to his right at a nearby smoldering pile of shards from his stolen RPV near the Dome, then back at the cluster of ships. “An eye for an eye, bitch.” His thumb drops hard, and four loud bursts tear through the sky. Two slam into the target, tearing through its left wing, and shearing off the front right of the cockpit. The ship sways, then the pilot loses control and is sent barreling towards the streets in a death spiral. The remaining ships spread apart to flank Duke on both sides. “Let’s see what you’re made of.” The Fighters both fire two blasts each into the Dome, causing the thick glass to creak. The ships zoom over the casino. Duke arms an additional four small cannons on the screen to his right, then proceeds to take four more shots at the closest passing ship. Three of the shots connect, and the ship explodes on impact! Duke turns his head to the left passing fighter as it zips by, “Don’t worry little buddy, I saved some for you too.” Duke’s eye catches a shimmer from the mothership, and he sees a small mass of five fighters emerge from a bay on the ship. With them, the battlecruiser that shot down his RPV, begins converging on the Lady Killer. Duke’s lip curls into a scowl, and he turns the cannons towards the oncoming wave. Plasma from the fighter breaks off a chunk of the rooftop, and smashes at the Dome, tossing Duke around in his chair. The left casino cannons send two rounds back in retaliation at the fighter, then two more at the beefy battlecruiser. Both the ships are hit by a single round each, the fighter for 25 damage and the battlecruiser for 27. The mass of fighters, much smaller in size than the first three, surround the Dome in a vulture-like circle above. three of them stoop down to take shots at the Dome. Two hit the casino, while the third splashes onto the Dome. Large fissures begin to form on the surface of the glass. Duke glances at the timer for the omega cannon, thirty seconds remained. Duke decides to focus his fire on the fighter and battlecruiser. He removes the cigar for a moment to pop his last three sticks of bubblegum from his jacket into his mouth, “It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum…” He focuses the right turret onto the large ship, “and I’m all outta gum.”

Duke sends a volley of shots at the battlecruiser, three of which find their mark for a massive one hundred damage. Armor plating is sheared off the face of the metallic beast, and it falters for a moment as small fires and smoke begin emitting from its fresh scars. As the cruiser readies a riposte, Duke sees the devastating mothership laser turn slowly towards him. First the large fighter takes two shots at Duke, but both shots splinter into the casino, which is starting to look pretty weathered from the carnage. The battlecruiser’s large cannons line up, then send two large balls of plasma towards the Lady Killer. One pounds into the building, the other into the Dome. Alarms blare from the monitors, showing heavy structural damage to the Dome. Duke holds his fire for a moment to allow the right cannon to cool down, and looks to the center monitor, showing the countdown at twenty seconds. Two of the Vulture fighters pop shots into the casino. A bead of sweat runs down Duke’s forehead, the small cannons had a special function that allowed them to fire all eight cannons at once, and he contemplated using it to send the battlecruiser into oblivion. But there was one caveat, for after he used it there would be a thirty second window in which the guns would need to cool down before they’d be usable again. Would the Dome be able to hold up in that time? Maybe he could reactivate the blast shields for protection against the fleet, but the mothership laser? Earlier that thing had cut through the casino’s reinforced walls like a hot knife through butter. The menacing green eye meets his own gaze, and the emerald pulses of energy begin forming around its pupil. Duke glances back to the timer, fifteen seconds. His eyes flicker back to the steel goliath, “There’s only two ways I'm getting out of this. And in both of them…” Duke pulls hard on the stogie, its red embers burning bright, and aims all cannons at the glowing eye. “You die.”

[Roastedzerg]

Episode 5: The Harder They Fall

Droplets of rain pelt the top of the splintered dome over Duke’s head as he stares into the ominous emerald eye of the mothership. Fifteen seconds remained until the Omega cannon would be ready to fire, and Duke finds himself completely surrounded by alien fighters and a single battlecruiser armed with large cannons threatening to tear himself and the casino to pieces. The enormous laser cannon of the mothership begins to charge another devastating blast, this time aimed straight at Duke. Sweat glistens in his palms, as his fist tightens around the joysticks aiming eight small cannons outside the Dome. He lines up the shot, then slams his thumbs down hard onto the triggers, sending a thunderstorm of shellfire erupting into the sky. With a barrage of small explosions, the devastating mothership laser cannon shifts slightly upon impact, just as it fires, causing the beam to shoot only a few inches over the casino rooftop. A message accompanied by red flashing from the monitors scrolls past Duke, “Cannons overheated, thirty second cooldown.”

As he looks up from the monitors, three vulture fighters above drop down to pop a single blast each into the Dome, two of which smash into the casino rooftop, loosening chunks of concrete from the structure. The third blast hits the dome hard, causing shards of reinforced glass to splinter off and fall towards Duke. Unfortunately, Duke takes no notice of the shards, until they slice and stick into his flesh a second later. Red amber lights circle about the room, and Duke smacks a button on the console, arming the blast shields. Armor plating begins enveloping the dome around him, leaving the monitors as his only eyes to the battle outside. Ten more seconds, the dome only had to hold for ten more seconds before the omega laser would be fully charged.

Duke strains his eyes in the dark, scanning the room for anything to aid him. As his eyes reach the back corner a few yards from the lift platform, the red lights sweep over an emergency supplies cabinet! Duke quickly jumps out of the seat, and rushes to the cabinet. He pops it open, revealing a bottle of steroids, and a small, backpack sized, jetpack. “Alright! Now we’re talking.” Duke is nearly thrown to the ground as three blasts slam into the casino. Duke throws himself back into the controls, and is greeted by the green flashing of a charged omega cannon. A grin stretches over Duke’s face, and he aligns the mothership between the crosshairs on the monitor. “When you get to Hell, tell em’ Duke sent ya.” He smashes the trigger, and the entire dome quakes from the concussive blast as a huge ball of plasma shrieks into the menacing green eye, leaving only dripping plasma in its place! Duke smirks, then catches a glimpse of movement on the monitor to his right. The battlecruiser focuses its large cannon on the Dome, but is interrupted as three EDF fighters sweep in to flank its side with hellfire. “It's about goddamn time. Better late than never I guess.” But just as the words leave his tongue, Duke sees a fresh wave of about thirty fighters pour forth from the mothership in retaliation. That was only half of his worries however, as Duke quickly notices handfuls of the waring alien ships scattered among the sky begin to break off from their skirmishes to converge on the casino. Duke glances back to the small cannon monitors, showing fiftee seconds before they’d be fully cooled down and ready to fire. “Son of a bitch.”

Duke switches the controls to automatic as he throws himself out of the seat and begins making his way to the lift. Duke’s boots slide to a sudden stop, when he notices the shadow looming above the platform. The red lights sweep over the glistening sweat on Duke’s face, slip along the shutters of the Dome, and finally stretch over the bulbous figure ahead. Alien voices echo in the depths of Duke’s brain, splitting intense pain throughout his skull. Three large glowing eyes pierce through the black, and a mass of slimy tentacles wriggle beneath a large gaping maw lined with sharp, jagged teeth. The hideous mouth widens, and the noise in Duke’s mind grows louder as the ominous glow of the beast’s eyes intensifies, spreading throughout the entirety of his grotesque body. Duke’s torn jacket slips down into his grip, revealing muscles pulsing hot with adrenaline. “You can take those tentacles, and shove ‘em up your ass.” Violent vibrations surge through the room as scorching hot plasma splashes the blast shields above, oozes globs of boiling goop between the newly formed cracks, and spatters the tiles a few inches from Duke’s mighty boot. The sinister invader’s jaw nearly unhinges as a pulsing orb of energy begins formulating in its gullet. The incantations in Duke’s head increase to a sharp cosmic scream of horror. Duke’s eyes narrow, and a crimson glint slides across his tinted shades as amber sweeps the chamber. “Your move shit head.”

With a blood curdling screech, the plasma erupts from the jaws of the Octabrain, and hurdles towards Duke! The blast singes the tips of his flattop as he barely manages to duck below the projectile when it tears through the air. Duke quickly closes the gap between himself and the beast. He sweeps up towards the creature, then throws the jacket into its face, and follows up with a heavy jab to its lower left eye! The octabrain reels back in pain, increasing its distance from Duke. One of its tentacles reaches up and tosses the jacket to the floor, then unleashes another blast of energy, but the plasma misses its mark, shooting too far to the right. “What’s the matter? Performance anxiety?” The beast roars retaliation into Duke’s mind. With a burst of energy, Duke charges the alien, and readies a jump into the air with his boots aimed at the octabrain’s center mass, but as he leaps he is thrown off balance when another shell of alien hellfire slams into the casino! Duke slams onto the hard ground, and the monster takes advantage of the mishap, latching it's disgusting fangs into Dukes leg! Duke’s free boot smashes into the side of the hideous face, causing the beast to wince in pain, but the jaws only tighten down further. The teeth sink deep into his flesh, shooting more pain into his already throbbing head, and Duke blacks out for a second. When his vision returns, Duke sees the ugly face of the octabrain pull his leg further down its throat, up to his thigh. His fist slams into the invader’s wounded eye, causing it to bleed profusely! The beast writhes in pain, but remains latched onto the leg. Its tentacles reach out quickly, seizing hold of Duke’s arms. He strains against the fleshy ropes, as the octabrain attempts to chew off his right leg, violently sawing it’s teeth and sliding Duke across the floor. “How bout a second helping…” The heel of Duke’s boot slams down hard on the beast’s skull with a sickening crunch, and it slumps to the ground with a wet slop. “Ehhhhh… Gross.” Duke kicks his leg free from the flabby corpse, and lumbers back to his feet with a jolt of pain. Leaning onto the lift controls for support, he slams his good leg into the dead invader, dislodging its bloody eyeball with a spurt of gore. “I’m getting too old for this shit.” His meaty hand slaps the controls, and the lift begins slowly descending back into the depths of the Casino.

[Roastedzerg]

Episode 6: Ready for action

Descending back into the twenty fifth floor of the Lady Killer casino, the wound in Duke's leg throbs in agony, blood soaking through his tattered jeans. Propping himself up on a nearby wall, his keen ears pick up faint alien chatter echoing down the dark halls. Duke examines the gouge, exposed bone protruding through the torn flesh and denim. “Fuck. I gotta patch myself up, asses ain’t gonna kick themselves…” Leaning against the wall for support, Duke drags himself through the corridor, slowly making his way back to his penthouse. Arriving at a split at the end of the hallway, Duke rounds the corner and spots a lone security camera overhead. He slips behind a vending machine for cover, then takes a quick glance around its edge. The sound of shuffling feet, followed by alien growls, emits down the corridor, as a group of three troopers and a single assault captain exit the penthouse ahead. They exchange words of irritation in alien tongue, heading down the hall away from Duke. To Duke’s dismay however, the captain begins to wander towards the vending machine. Duke slowly draws his sidearm, his heart pounding behind its cage. Just as the beast seems about to pass the machine, he stops in front of it instead. Duke holds his breath, as the captain growls before smashing the glass display, grabbing a handful of candy bars before heading back to the group, tossing each a bar of chocolate. Duke lets out a sigh of relief, then glances back up to the camera, its black lens staring back at him. “Damn it…”

As the troupe of invaders round the corner, Duke quickly makes his way to the room. Slipping into the doorway, shards of broken glass cracks under his boot amongst the scattered debris of the ravaged room. As he scans the dimly lit space, Duke’s ears perk up, picking up the sound of something rummaging through the kitchen ahead. Dropping low, Duke slowly creeps his way across the littered floor. Light from the open refrigerator casts a soft white glow into the room, illuminating a hunched over figure leaning into the cold box. The beast doesn’t seem to notice the crunching beneath Duke’s feet as he nears, far too preoccupied with tossing out articles of food onto the counter and floor behind it. Slipping behind a large chop block in the center of the room, Duke notices the bottle of Jack from the night before, laying on its side half full. Slowly sliding around the block, he reached up and takes hold of the glass bottle. Leaning around the edge, he sees a lone assault trooper standing in the icy glow. Reaching into the fridge, the alien recovers a single chilled can of EDF engineered Atomic Energy drink. Lifting the beverage to its face for closer inspection, Duke sneaks a few inches closer to the invader. As he creeps within arms length of the trooper, the crunch of broken eggshells betrays Duke's presence, and the shocked beast spins around quickly to face him! “How about a cold one? On me.”

The thick bottle of booze smashes into the skull of the beast, spattering a mix of whiskey and blood into the open fridge door! The creature lets out a roar of shocked pain, throwing its arms up blindly in defense of any additional blows, but is unable to stop Duke from jamming the remainder of the broken bottle into the side of its throat! A fountain of blood spills from the neck of the bottle, and the trooper desperately clutches at his own, dropping to its knees with a gurgled cry. The alien crumples to the tile floor, and Duke picks up the fumbled can just before it rolls into the flowing pool of blood. He cracks open the frosty beverage, causing the carbonated liquid to spew forth from its aluminum mouth. Quickly guzzling down the rejuvenating liquid, Duke feels its enhanced medicinal properties rapidly taking effect, kicking his nervous system into overdrive. His wounds immediately begin sealing themselves up, and his bruises fade before his very eyes. The pain in his leg recedes to nothing more than a dull ache, as Duke finishes the drink with a refreshing sigh of relief. “Ahhhhhh, God bless the EDF.” Crushing the can in his fist, he bounces it off the head of the dying trooper.

Duke turns away from the soon-to-be-corpse towards his bedroom to gear up, but as he does so, a shaky claw reaches up with a laser blaster in its grip, splashing hot plasma into his back! Duke stumbles forward in surprise, but the energy coursing through his veins numbs the pain, and he spins around to deliver a swift kick into the attacker’s face with a gruesome snap! “Piece of shit.” A burst of static emits through the dead trooper’s communications device, alien chatter breaking in and out of the fuzz. Amongst the garble, Duke hears a gravelly voice speak a handful of words in English, “Duke spotted on top floor! Duke Nukem must die!” A second later, a rythme of footsteps and excited alien barking approaches the front door in the foyer behind him! Duke rushes to the entrance, just in time to see the group of troopers from earlier rushing down the hallway to his right. Locking eyes with the assault captain leading the pack, the beast raises his blaster with a snarl! Duke slams the door and bolts it shut, just as a handful of plasma slaps into it, two of the rounds splintering through the wood nearly searing his flesh. Duke frantically slides furniture against the wooden frame as it nearly splits off its hinges from the relentless battering on the opposite side.

Duke makes haste to his bedroom closet, tearing the doors open and throwing the hanging clothes onto the ground behind him. Slipping his hand to the back of the confined space, his fingers tap a pattern of panels on the wall, and with a small ‘click’, the wall shifts aside to reveal a small white room. Duke steps into the cramped space, his footsteps echoing off the polished steel walls. Stopping in front of a round glass case, he pushes a small blue button, sliding the cabinet open with a fresh scent of clean linen. Duke takes in a deep breath of the refreshing aroma. “It’s been too long…” Beneath the glow of fluorescent light, a cardinal red tank top radiates over a pair of combat ready blue denim jeans, its gold plated buckle shining with refined dignity. With a smirk, Duke strips off the tattered blue shirt and shredded black jeans, donning the pristine garments with gusto. Fastening the battle harness over his thick shoulders and clasping the belt around his waist, a surge of warm nostalgia washes over his body. Crinkles form at the edges of Duke's eyes as the smirk forms into a full out grin of satisfaction. “Ready for action.”

A small chime echoes off the walls of the tiny room, followed by a robotic message,”Voice recognition accepted, password accepted, Ass Kicking protocol engaged.” The wall to Duke’s left shoots out a jet of steam as it slowly opens up into the space. A pair of metallic arms unfold in a gesture of supplication, a large weapon of mass destruction nestled between its polished fingers. Duke heaves the mammoth of a gun into his arms and his smile grows even wider as he slides his hand along its smooth, glossy body. “Just like Christmas.” The dual cannoned Devastator glows to life as Duke’s meaty arms slide into the slots on both sides of the weapon, his hands wrapping tightly around the grips inside.

Before leaving the white box, Duke grabs two pistol magazines, a box of shells, three pipe bombs, four tripbombs, a pair of fully charged night vision goggles, and a single holo Duke disk. Exiting the closet, a crackle of broken glass beneath his boot draws Duke’s attention as he passes the bedside. Kneeling down, Duke swipes up the photograph of Lani, only to find himself lost in her radiating smile, shining brilliantly beneath her beautiful auburn hair. Her irrevocable scream echoes in the confines of his mind, and tension swells in his jaw. Then he remembers the twins, he couldn’t allow them to share Lani’s fate, he had to move fast. Duke folds the photo into a pouch on his chest, then removes his cell phone. To his chagrin, the screen is spiderwebbed with cracks, no doubt from his mishap on the smashed up motorcycle. “Well shit…” He presses the buttons, and to his surprise, they light up. “Hmm… At Least i can still call… Let’s hope nobody wants to text.” Before Duke has the chance to dial however, the sound of splintering wood erupts from the foyer! As he slides back into the hall, a single clawed hand splinters through the door, fumbling at the locks.

The barrels of Duke’s devastator level with the doorway, as the Assault Captain peers through the newly formed aperture, his face flushing white with terror. “Say hello to my little friend.” Duke squeezes the triggers, and a volley of high speed miniature rockets zip from the face of the massive weapon, shattering what remained of the door, turning the captain and all three of his accompanying troopers into a gorey mush of blood and entrails. “God damn! I love this thing!” Before Duke has time to celebrate, a drawn out, high pitched beep splits through the corridor, as three sets of glowing red eyes pierce through the mist of blood and smoke. With a sharp robotic whine, a small group of sentry drones slip through the hazy cloud, darting straight at Duke! As they quickly move within a few feet from him, they begin emitting an ear piercing ring, and before he has time to react, the closest drone explodes in a concentrated blast that violently throws Duke slamming into the nearby wall! Shaking the stars from his vision, Duke sees a second drone dashing towards him! He slaps the side of the jetpack strapped to his back, zooming out of the way just as the metallic bomb slams into the wall in a fiery blaze! Without sparing another moment, the final drone sweeps past the falling debris. Duke aims his course for the nearby window, thankfully left ajar the previous night. Tucking his arms, he rapidly speeds through the gap, but halfway through his boot catches the frame, spinning him out of control two hundred and seventy feet above nothing but solid concrete!

Straining all the muscles in his body, Duke manages to control his aerial gyrations, bringing himself to an steady but unnerving sway. As his vision reorientates with the world around him, rapid movement from the window catches his eye as the drone zips through the misty sky towards him. Duke heaves the mighty weapon up with fierce aggression, training its sights on the glossy killing machine. The rain falls heavy, drenching Duke from head to toe, pelting the crest of his fearsome firearm, and spilling over its chrome edges. “Die you son of a bitch.”

A thunderous burst erupts from the barrel, discharging rainwater as three micro-rockets pierce through the dampened sky towards their silver target. Two of the missiles crash into the drone with devastating resonance, hurling shards of metal fragments screaming through the bleak sky. Duke exhales a liberating sigh of relief, then scans his surroundings in an attempt to find his bearings. A deafening explosion of gunfire above reminds him of the warring vessels overhead, shelling the hell out of the domed cannon atop the casino. Discerning his own vulnerability in the unprotected sky, Duke sweeps down the face of the neon-kindled Lady Killer, scanning its drenched surface for a way back into the casino. “I gotta find the twins fast…” Recollecting the chaotic day, he remembers running into them earlier that morning in the lobby, maybe they were still around. Slipping through an open window on the third floor, Duke slides to a stop between rows of chattering slot machines, and embarks on his desperate search.

[Roastedzerg]

Episode 7: It's not the size that counts…

A gust of damp wind rolls through the open window behind Duke, sweeping loose bills and casino chips down the aisle of chattering slot machines. Noting the limited space of the room, Duke hooks the Devastator onto his back, and flips the shotgun into his grip. Its chrome barrel sweeps the abandoned contents of the torn-up game room. Bodies slump over their video poker machines, a single bloody handprint sliding down one of the flashing monitors. Duke shakes his head in disgust, slowly creeping his way to the entrance. As he nears, a green pack of chewing gum on the edge of a small table catches his eye, and he pockets the minty sticks. Peering through the doorway, Duke sees a Large open room full of blackjack tables and the like, some of which are turned over spilling playing cards and poker chips onto the carpet floor. A few patrolling aliens search the room for survivors amongst the scattered human remains littering the room. Patches of fleshy alien infection spreads throughout the room, spilling forth like mold from the adjacent game rooms. Slowly stepping into the room, his eyes lock onto the leading Enforcer, motioning to three additional troopers who break off into separate groups to sweep the edges of the space. As he brings his boot down, a jelly-like substance squishes under his weight, and before he has the chance to glance down, his entire world rapidly expands around him! Duke’s stomach lurches, as he is suddenly shrunken down to the size of a seven-inch-tall action figure in the blink of an eye! Finding himself floating in a green goop filling up some kind of open sore composed of alien flesh, Duke takes the moment to try and fathom what the hell just happened. “What the fuck…?”

Swimming through the thick ooze, Duke lumbers up the edge of the tiny crater. Taking in the now massive room, he sees game tables and slot machines towering over him like skyscrapers. Vibrations shake beneath him, and looking to his left, Duke sees a colossal Assault Trooper striding towards him with booming foot falls! Frantically casting his glance for cover, Duke spots the body of a dead EDF marine, and rushes out of sight behind the fallen ally. The immense invader’s leg sweeps over the corpse, stopping suddenly at the fleshy shrink pad. The alien scans the floor around the trap but overlooks the tiny green footsteps leading away from the pool, blending into the emerald carpet. With a low growl, the unsuspecting trooper carefully steps over the pad, and continues to probe the room. Microscopic beads of sweat roll down Duke’s forehead, as he climbs up the cadaver for a better view of his enlarged surroundings. Between rows of barstools and roulette tables, bumping music pours forth from behind a large pair of double doors, the occasional stream of colored laser lights slipping through small glass windows on its face. The entrance to Duke’s very own Gentlemens club, The Atom Bomb, as well as the Holsom Twin’s place of employment. Another set of thundering footsteps nears as Duke hops off the carcass, sliding under the nearby table. The ugly Enforcer stomps his way past the blackjack table, stopping for a short moment to shout orders to this troop.

As the resounding foot falls reverberate down the aisle, Duke rushes towards the door, using the game tables and stools for cover. Reaching the entrance, he pushes with all his might, but the door doesn’t budge. Staring up the length of the colossal portal, the panel to its right displays red digitized words ‘locked’ on its screen. He had a master keycard for the casino on him, but something told him it wouldn’t do him much good given its current dimensions. “Shit…Gotta find another keycard…” The rumble of two approaching assault troopers catches Duke’s attention, and he quickly dives between the legs of a nearby stool. To his dismay, both invaders stop above him, exchanging banter between one another. One of the alien bastards promptly sits down on Duke’s cover, its scaly leg dangling a few inches from his face. Duke takes his eyes off the slimy appendage for a moment to sweep his gaze over the nearby bodies for that of the bouncer, but doesn’t see his corpse amongst the bloody remains. The steady sway of the alien leg draws back his stare, swinging back and forth between himself and the nearby game table. Attempting to time his dash under the fleshy pendulum, he miscalculates its oscillation, and it slams into his side, throwing him laterally under the table. As he catches himself from falling, he glances back, half expecting to see the alien mug peering back at him. To his relief, the beast is much too focused on what has become a heated debate with the other invader to take any notice.

More than a little annoyed at the entire situation, Duke stops to ponder the whereabouts of the bouncer, Kaeo, who would certainly have the spare keycard. The man had a habit of eating the kind of food that would send him running to the bathroom about a dozen times during his shifts, might be a good place to start. Scanning the room, he spots a small sign with silhouetted figures hanging over an adjoining hallway. Dropping low, an easy feat given his circumstances, Duke rushes towards his porcelain objective. Arriving at the opening of the corridor, Duke slips behind an ATM on the corner, then peers around into the vacant hall for usable covers, spotting a single corpse slumped against the wall. Just as he is about to bolt down the tight space, the Enforcer’s massive foot slams past Duke, followed closely by a single trooper hot on its heels. The creatures stop at the bathroom door, grumbling at one another, then enter. As the door begins to close, Duke hoofs it for the opening, sliding through the small gap just in time as the enormous slab clicks shut. Sliding behind a garbage can, Duke watches the beasts lumber over to the stalls. A jolt of adrenaline spikes through Duke’s blood as he notices the pair of sneakers awaiting the alien horror reaching for their owner’s stall. “Guess someones gotta teach ya to knock first.” As he takes a step forward, a large Hawaiian man with his sleeves rolled up bursts through the stall door, slamming into the trooper’s ugly face! The invader is nearly knocked out cold as it stumbles back into the urinals, catching himself on the privacy screen. Duke glances down to his shotgun with a grimace, then swaps it back out with the Devastator, and launches his jetpack towards the unsuspecting Enforcer ahead. Far too engrossed with the sudden attack, the creature doesn’t notice the faint buzzing as Duke approaches, and is caught by complete surprise by the stream of tiny rockets slamming into the back of its head! The alien lurches forward with a wail of pain, then spins around to face Duke, returning fire at the puny target.The massive bullets tear past Duke’s small body, shattering ribs and spilling gouts of blood as they graze his flesh, barely missing vitals but causing him heavy blood loss. Nearly losing control of his jetpack, Duke shakes off the pain screaming in his head, and manages to keep himself airborne. The trooper steadies himself on the urinal, sending a bolt of plasma into Kaeo’s stomach! The large man grunts, but holds it together, channeling the pain towards the Enforcer with a loud shout into its ear. The beast turns back towards Kaeo, buying Duke a clear window to send three more hot rounds at the invader. Unfortunately, the agony from his gaping wounds causes Duke to jerk the gun up as he squeezes the triggers, shattering the fluorescent lights above! As darkness engulfs the room, Duke zooms down into the stall, sweeping up behind the toilet for cover, then pops a handful of painkillers from one of his small medkits.

Spittle projects into Kaeo’s face as the Enforcer lunges at him with a fierce roar! The invader's face betrays its surprise as its sharp claw swipes thin air, then twists into a look of shocked pain as Kaeo’s meaty fist nearly breaks its jaw with a powerful punch! The Trooper’s firearm burps another shot at Kaeo, but aims too low and the plasma smashes into the stall, spewing forth a flood of toilet water. Before he can react, a torrent sweeps Duke sprawling across the tile floor beneath the bathroom sinks. Scrambling to his feet, Duke hears a growl from the nearby Enforcer, helping him place its whereabouts in the pitch. Two rockets zip from the devastator’s barrels splashing into the shoulder of the massive shadow, and the beast twists around with a panged cry, madly scanning the dark space for its hidden attacker. Duke dashes through the water, slipping under the stall just as the bathroom door crashes open, a beam of light streaming into the room over the weathered shapes of Kaeo and the Enforcer. The last two troopers from the gameroom step through the opening, blasters at the ready pointed at Kaeo. Before they can pull their respective triggers, Kaeo bolts to the dark end of the bathroom, sliding into the furthest stall for cover. Bolts of laser fire splash along the walls of the dark space, breaking off tiles and punching holes through the fiberglass. The Enforcer blasts wildly into the floor where Duke once stood, then hunkers behind the stall door, unaware of the tiny man sharing the cramped space with him. Popping the lid off a bottle of steroids, Duke gulps down the capsules with haste, a drizzle of blood running down from the corner of his mouth. Adrenaline surges through his veins, and his jetpack bursts to life, launching him up towards the unsuspecting Enforcer. Duke’s tiny fist slams into the temple of the enormous invader with an audible crack! The creature's eyes roll to the back of its head as it drops dead on the spot, smashing head first into the remains of the toilet. The nearest trooper sees his ally fall, a small silhouette of a man hovering in the dim light. The beast snarls, sending another pulse of plasma into the open stall, but the small figure proves a difficult target to hit, and the projectile smashes into the tiled wall. Another alien slips past, rushing into the dark space in search of Kaeo. The trooper fires its plasma pistol blindly into the black, using the flash from the muzzle to light the space. The final trooper snarls at Duke, nearly shredding his arm off with a streak of plasma from its blaster, only barely missing the juiced up man as he dodges back into the black.

Slipping under the adjoining stalls, Duke slides to a stop behind Kaeo, who doesn’t notice the little man standing near his shoe. Kicking the side of the large sneaker, Duke catches the attention of the towering man with a shocked gasp, perking the ear of the nearby invader. “Nice punch kid, but we’re not done yet. Wait for my signal.” Speeding across the aisle, Duke launches himself up to the handle of the nearest urinal as the invaders begin kicking in the stall doors, making their way down towards the two men. The closest trooper peers around the room with a low growl, lighting up the space with another shot from his blaster to no avail. The sound of rushing water fills the space, and the trooper spins around to see the miniature sized barrels of Duke’s Devastator staring back at him. “Don’t forget to flush.” The missiles slam into the creature’s face, filling its surface with a series of fleshy craters, resembling a gorey slab of swiss cheese.

The invader smashes into the stall behind him, and at that same moment, the stall at the end of the bathroom bursts open as Kaeo rushes through the black towards the Troopers. Emerging from the shadows, he throws a heavy jab at the first invader, but swings wide, and the beast instinctively jerks away from the attack. Both monsters square off with the hulking man, bellowing out low, guttural sounds, and a bead of sweat trickles down the side of his face. The invader to his right lunges at Kaeo with a slash of its razor sharp claw, but the bouncer proves too quick, dropping under the attack and slamming his fist into the creature’s ribcage, knocking the wind clean from its lungs. Before the beast has time to catch its breath, the pint sized mass of muscle that is Duke Nukem uses his jetpack to zip up and jam his entire arm up to the shoulder into the eye socket of the unsuspecting alien! The trooper sways for a brief moment, before dropping limply to the ground, the tiny man still hanging from its gruesome socket. Kaeo dips in for a quick left hook, driving a hard blow into the temple of the ugly invader. The dazed Trooper lets out a shocked cry, and attempts to flee, but Kaeo keeps up the pressure, landing a knee into its side. Tearing his arm free from the corpse, Duke turns to the terrified alien and unleashes a single rocket in its direction. The beast screams in agony as his right arm is torn off at the elbow, leaving nothing more than a wet stump in its place. As the Trooper grasps at the dismembered limb, Kaeo latches onto the side of its head and brings it smashing down into the nearby urinal, flooding the tile floor with a pool of blood and toilet water.

The silent murmur of death permeates the space, broken only by the gentle sound of spilling water and the raspy heaves discharging from the strained lungs of the worn out men. Glancing down to his dwarfed companion, a look of genuine confusion forms on Kaeo’s face, “What the hell happened to you?” Duke cocks an eyebrow back at the man, “I don’t wanna talk about it. Glad you made it Kaeo, guess those frequent bathroom breaks finally paid off huh?” Kaeo lets out a small chuckle, “Saved by the burrito. I heard the commotion only minutes after dropping my drawers, a few EDF troops were gambling when I left, so I figured it would be best to wait for the gunfire to die down. Any survivors?” Duke shakes his head. “Shit…” Duke glances up, “Don’t blame yourself kid, nothing could be done. You’re lucky to be breathing. Got that keycard on ya still?” Kaeo pats his pockets, then produces a red card with a white stripe running down the middle. “Got it right here boss. Not really the best time for a lap dance though…” Duke smirks, “The twins in there?” Kaeo takes a moment to think, “They should be, I let them in this morning. I remember a handful of EDF troops accompanied them before the chaos broke out. The door was locked, so they should be safe.” “Good to hear. C’mon, let's get that door unlocked. Hope those boys got an expand pad on them, short man syndromes a bitch.” Kaeo bellows a hearty laugh, then picks up two of the fumbled blasters at his feet.

The men carefully pick their way over the human and alien remains, passing between the various game tables, and stopping before the neon lines gates of ecstasy. Sliding the ruby dyed plastic into its designated reader with a chirp of approval, Kaeo casts a quick nod of affirmation to Duke. “Best of luck to you Mr. Nukem, kick some alien ass for me.” Duke glances up with a raised eyebrow, a smile stretching across his face. “Kid, luck is for pussies.”

[Roastedzerg]

Hope you guys are enjoying the story so far! Here's the most recent session ive finished, its pretty awesome! Might be a while before i get the next one out, been getting caught up with life and work lately and haven't had much time to play. I'll do my best to get another one as soon as i can! Until then, i leave you with another dose of alien ass kicking, have fun!

Episode 8: Death Before Disco

Slowly inching the door open, a shrunken, pint sized Duke Nukem slips through the entrance to the dark, neon lined club, streams of bright colored laser lights sweeping the space. Loud techno music blares through the room as Duke creeps his way across the beer soaked floors, his eyes scanning the room for any signs of the Holsom twins, as well as the aforementioned EDF marines accompanying them. “Those troops better have that expand unit on them, this action figure shit is getting old fast.” The sharp shatter of a beer bottle directs Duke’s attention towards the center stage. Pink fog enshrouds a mass of bulky shapes, eagerly leaning into the stage below a pair of exotic figures swaying sensuously to the heart pounding beats. “My kind of party.” But as Duke steps towards the group, his trained ear catches the unmistakable grunts and snorts of alien swine. Duke slips behind a nearby bottle for cover, “Ah crap…” Looking onto the crowd, Duke makes out the shapes of three former EDF marines, freshly transformed into disgusting intergalactic pigs, blood freshly matted onto their dark fur and body armor. The hogs shout excitedly at the women, one of the beasts nearly doubling the mass of the others as it drains a bottle of booze into its slimy gullet. Squinting his eyes, Duke tries to discern the features of the obscured dancers, and makes out the terrified expressions of the twins, Mary and Kate. “Son of a bitch… How the hell did these guys get turned? The damn door was locked…” One of the girls suddenly shrieks as the shorter pig of the bunch, lumbers up the stage!

“Not today motherfucker!” Popping 3 sticks of gum into his mouth, Duke’s jetpack launches him over the heads of the grounded swine, singeing the face of the largest one with a fiery stream of scolding hot jet fuel! The beast rears back in surprise, slapping at its blazing mohawk in a vain attempt to extinguish the flames. “Time to get hot and heavy.” Fear seizes the hearts of the unsuspecting hogs, who all freeze with shock as the miniature mass of muscle zips in front of the pig on stage, unloading 3 quick blasts from his devastator point blank into its ugly mug! The concussive barrage sends the beast tumbling backwards off the stage, and the creature is knocked out cold as it smashes into the table below. The large pig just manages to put out the flames atop his head, before it is reignited as Duke makes another sweep over him, unleashing 3 more rockets into its flabby face! The dazed swine hacks out a glob of blood from what remains of its pulpy face, before the final rocket slams dead center into its forehead, spattering both Duke and the nearby pig in a shower of gray matter. “Too easy.” Duke quickly darts his eyes around the space for a breaker box, spotting one on the wall on the opposite side of the room. The tiny man casts his glance back to the last pig standing, still frozen with fear. “Catch me if you can porky.” Zipping towards the service panel, he tosses a metal disk out onto a passing table. A small holographic image of himself materializes from the eye of the machine. The figure turns his digital head towards the beast, and flips him the bird. “Come get some”

The swine snorts a rebuff, centering the sights of his shotgun onto the second Duke to appear from thin air, but just as his finger begins to squeeze the trigger, a line of static quickly slides down the hologram. The hog huffs an irritated snort, flashing his aim back to the tiny figure flying away from him. As the buckshot scatters across the room, the tiny man proves too difficult to hit, and the rounds scatter along the wall. The shorter pig stumbles back to his shaky hooves, blood pouring from his snout, pooling up on the floor below him. Dazedly looking around for his attacker, the wounded pig sees the blonde bastard standing on the table a few yards away, his middle finger pointed insultingly towards him! “I am the real Duke Nukem, eat shit and die.” With a snort, the beast uses its remaining strength to lift his shotgun up, splintering both the table and hologram pad to pieces.
Stopping at the breaker box, Duke swaps to his shotgun, and the entire club goes dark as the buckshot blows a hole the size of a baseball into the panel. “Lights out boys.” Dropping the night vision goggles over his eyes, the space around him turns a greenish tint. Glancing back, Duke sees the aliens frantically groping around in the pitch. Taking the moment to scan the room for any possible supplies the former EDF marines may have brought with them, Duke spots a lone duffle bag sitting on the ground towards the back of the stage, just past the beasts. Speeding back towards the swine, Duke powers down his jetpack, landing on a table a few feet from the wounded alien. The invader fearfully spins around in the black, hearing the jetpack wind down, but unable to place its whereabouts in the dark space. “What’s the matter? Afraid of the dark?” The swine turns with a snort, just in time to receive a spray of tiny buckshot into its ribcage, the force still strong enough to send the beast spiraling back into the side of the stage where it falls beside into a bloody heap. The small blast helps the final remaining pig place Duke’s general whereabouts in the pitch, and the hog wheels around to unload a blast in the little man’s direction. The buckshot scatters around Duke, and he pays back the gesture in kind, sending a fury of shell into the invader’s gut with a shriek of pain. Leaping off the table, just in time as the surface is splintered to pieces from a blind shot in the dark, Duke rushes for the duffle bag. The beast slowly inches his way towards Duke’s last known location, but as the pig nears the remains of the table, a loose bottle catches under his hoof, sending the beast sprawling onto the beer soaked floor.

Arriving at the canvas receptacle, Duke hastily rummages through its packed contents, tossing out guns and ammo twice his size. As the swine clammors back onto its hooves, Duke finally finds what he was looking for at the bottom of the bag, an emergency EDF enlargement pad, a device specifically manufactured to counteract the shrinking alien fluid. The pig’s carefully placed steps lumber closer, as Duke tosses the bulky disk out onto the open floor with a heavy clank. Dropping down to the device, Duke slams his tiny fist onto the power button, and the pad begins to come to life with a soft white glow. As he climbs onto the pad, Duke glances up to see the enormous hog standing over him, glaring down with raspy heaves. The invader lifts its enormous hoof, but before he can bring it down on the little man, the pad emits a buzzing hum, followed by a bright flash of light that momentarily blinds the beast. Blinking clear the spots in his vision, the swine freezes in terror as it finds itself staring back into the gaze of the towering mass of muscle. Craning his neck to the side with an audible pop, Duke drops his gaze back down onto the intergalactic pork chop standing before him, “Size only matters when you’re full grown, baby.” The hog snorts a rebuff, and goes to throw a heavy jab, but is quickly intercepted by a sharp clock to the jaw! Painful stars spread throughout its vision, and the invader nearly blacks out, mustering just enough strength to keep itself swaying upright. Duke grins, then places his index finger to the pig’s sweaty forehead, “K.O.” With that, he pushes the beast tumbling back over the top of its deceased ally with a crash.

Duke recovers the chaingun cannon laying beside the bag, as well as a handful of ammo for the triple barreled machine gun. Through his NVGs, Duke’s eyes sweep the emerald tinted room for the twins. Just as he’s about to call out to them, the quirky voice of Mary Holsom rises from the other side of the stage, “God i can’t see a fucking thing!” A second later Kate pips up with a sharp whine, “Ow! Watch your fucking elbows bitch!” Shaking his head, Duke rounds the corner to see a pair of green silhouettes huddled under a nearby table. “Don’t worry girls, your Duke has arrived.” Helping them up to their feet, both women embrace the large man, rapidly overexplaining the entirety of their bizarre morning in explicit detail. Duke puts a finger on both of their lips to hush them up. “Shhhhh… Everything is going to be fine ladies, your man of the hour is here, and he’s gonna make those alien bastards pay. But first we’ve gotta get you someplace safe.” The twins nod in agreement, sticking close as they begin slowly maneuvering towards the entrance behind Duke. His muscles throb with pain as the adrenaline wears off, a dull ache spreading throughout the entirety of his body. Duke pours out a handful of painkillers from a pouch on his chest harness, downing the red capsules with a nearby bear. Kate glances over with a playful expression, attempting to lighten the gloomy mood, “I thought you weren’t supposed to mix those?” Duke smirks, but before he can shoot back a sarcastic reply, a thunderous explosion erupts from the dressing room wall towards the back of the club! A large shaft of light streams through the freshly carved hole into the inky black room, a floating bulbous figure obscured amidst the cloud of dust and debris. Razor sharp blades cut the air around a hovering platform attached to the base of the entity. A ray of light gleams over its ugly maw, lined with sharp teeth stretching into a sinister smile. The sisters shriek in horror, pointing in sync towards the bulging beast. “That's the butthole who turned those marines into gross pigs!” Duke’s eyes narrow to the large metallic device attached to the Assault Commander’s arm. He’d seen these lumpy bastards many times before, but this toy was new. “Well, suppose it’s time Fatass received his goodnight suppository. Doctor’s orders.”
Duke bolts across the room, pulling the invader’s attention away from the girls by chucking a bottle of beer into the beast before diving behind the bar for cover. Before the beast can unleash the awaiting payload from its fleshy cannon below, glass smashes into its flabby chest in a splash of brown liquid, sending the rocket zipping up over the twin’s heads into the ceiling with a booming crash! Brushing out the shards of glass protruding from its plump torso, the blades around his platform spin faster, lifting the irritated commander higher up for a better vantage point.

Duke pops up over the counter with his newly acquired firearm, plugging four hot rounds into the ugly invader. The beast lurches in pain, but manages to keep itself airborne, releasing another slimy rocket into the bar with a gruesome wheeze. The wall behind Duke blows to smithereens, pelting the man with glass from the rows of shattered bottles lining the space. “Son of a bitch is wasting all my beer!” As the dust settles around the torn up bar, the invader inches closer with a sinister grin. The creature's expression quickly twists into one of captivated fear as a chunk of pulsing red plastic cuts through the cloud, latching firmly into its flesh with a sharp chirp. The large beast desperately claws at the blinking device as the pace of its rhythmic beeping increases. The invader breaks into a cold sweat as panic seizes its black heart, shooting its gaze up to see Duke’s smug face leaning over the counter with a freshly opened bottle of brew in his grip. Raising a mocking toast to the hovering mass of flesh, Duke’s eyes cut through his dark shades into the invader’s shrunken pupils. “Cheers.”
Duke tips back the long neck, draining its contents as the beast’s head jerks down with a sudden start to the flashing contraption, as its incessant beeping holds on a single high pitched tone. Suddenly, the noise ceases, and a lone beam of red laser appears from the eye of the device, stretching over the bar as the last of the bitter foam pours over Duke’s tongue. A few tense moments pass before the plump invader eases with a bellowing laugh of mockery. “Die human.” The alien leans back to release another devastating projectile as Duke slowly strides away from the beast, tossing the empty container over his shoulder behind him. “Blow it out your ass.” Just as the organic missile breaches its greasy chamber, the glass bottle cuts through the crimson beam, activating the tripbomb with a concentrated explosion of gore, destroying the remainder of the bar to Duke’s rear. The twins glance over their impromptu cover to stare at the smoldering remains of the blackened bar, gruesome chunks of flesh and entrails glued to their surroundings. “Eeeew gross…”

Duke goes to shoulder his new toy, but finds himself far too encumbered with firepower to hold the chaingun. His eyes sweep back to the EDF duffle bag near the alien corpse beside the stage, "It's my lucky day." Swiping up the receptacle, Duke dumps both the chaingun and the spent devastator into the vacant space, then swings the bag over his back before making his way towards the twins. "C'mon, let's blow this shithole." As Duke leads the women out of the pitch black club, a chime from his pocket draws his attention. Duke removes the splintered cell, "This is Duke…" A familiar gravelly voice buzzes through the static, "Duke?! Well I'll be Goddamned, should've known you pull through! What's your status son?" A relieved smile forms on Duke's face, "Just peachy, rolling high. Vegas has really gone to shit these days." The General chuckles, "So I've heard, we could see the fireworks from here. How bad is it? You make those bastards pay for the damages?" Duke glances back to the gruesome mess behind him, "I'm writing checks their asses can't cash. How's your end of the shit show?" “‘Bout the same as yours I presume. Those slimy maggots killed half my platoon, but we’ve been collecting our debt with interest. They’ve captured the president Duke, caught us with our pants around our ankles. The invaders have a new cycloid emperor calling the shots now, and that son of a bitch makes the last one feel like an ice cream salesman. We’re doing what we can to push these assholes back, but we’re losing ground. They’re opening up some kind of god forsaken wormhole above the hoover dam, and a second smaller sized one over the Stratosphere. We need to put a boot up their collective asses before they can summon anything through those tunnels. You need to make your way to the tower as quick as you can, then double time it to the Dam. Humanity needs you Duke, now more than ever. If there's one hardass I know we can count on to send those bastards back into the Hell they crawled out of, it's you.” Duke lights up a fresh stogie, the red embers burning bright as he slides the gold plated glock from its leather holster.

“Always bet on Duke.”