Alright I got it, here's what you do:
Put all your art files+palette.dat in a directory with your .map file.
Open the map file with Noesis and go to file>export. Make sure it's set to OBJ. Check Flip UV (Noesis screws up UV on OBJ models) and No Animations (unless you want animations, not sure how that would work). In advanced settings put
-scale 0.01 -recenter -rotate 90 0 0 -killdupfaces -dukemapspritemode 0 -dukemapskippara -dukemapshtable -objmtl
. (most of these options are just useful, some of them are absolutely required. Click advanced commands for more info and other commands. Also the rotate command might not be needed, I'm using it because it's always facing the wrong direction when I import it in Blender, but that might be Blender's fault)
Then you can export.
It will not export the mtl file correctly, you must go into the mtl file and put .png after each texture definition or else whatever model viewer/editor you use besides Noesis will not be able to find the textures.