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The pleasure of trolling telemarketers

#1

Did you ever troll a telemarketer? I did, just today. I'm gonna post my experience, and I encourage you to do the same.
When my cell phone rang, I noticed a number with an unusual area code. I answered, expecting it to be someone attempting to sell me something. I was right. Here's how the conversation went:

ME: Hello?
HER: Hello, I'm calling from (she says a company name I genuinely did not understand), is this (my name)?
ME: You're calling from what?
HER: From (she repeats the name, I still didn't understand it). I'm calling you for a survey. Are you interested in an easy way to make money online?
ME: No, it's against my religion.
HER: (she laughs nervously) Do you often use Facebook, Instagram, Whatsapp?
ME: I don't understand.
HER: Are you an immigrant?
ME: No, but I don't understand what you want from me.
HER: I want to propose you an easy way to make money online.
ME: What do you mean by "online"?
HER: On the Internet.
ME: What is that?
HER: (embarrassed pause) Did you ever surf the web?
ME: Ma'am... or miss. I live in the mountains. How can I go surfing?
HER: Do you really have no idea of what I'm saying?
ME: So far, I don't. But you could try explaining.
HER: What is your job at the moment?
ME: My wife maintains me.
HER: ...Oh. Is the phone you're using right now a smartphone?
ME: No, it's a cell phone.
HER: Do you touch the screen to use it?
ME: No, I push the buttons. The screen is small, and there's the word "Nokia" just above it. My mother bought it about fifteen years ago.
HER: (she remains silent for about ten seconds)
ME: Hello? Hellooo?? HELLOOOOO?????
(the call ends)
(I abandon myself to a gloating laugh)
2

User is offline   TerminX 

  • el fundador

  #2

One time I got a call from one of those scam shops that tries to get you to let them Remote Desktop into your computer... spent 20 minutes fucking with them by following their directions on a Linux machine instead of Windows.
3

#3

View PostTerminX, on 16 October 2017 - 11:08 AM, said:

One time I got a call from one of those scam shops that tries to get you to let them Remote Desktop into your computer... spent 20 minutes fucking with them by following their directions on a Linux machine instead of Windows.

LOL, I read about those for years. I never got one, but I wish I would. I'd do almost the same thing as you, except on an Amiga 500.
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User is offline   Micky C 

  • Honored Donor

#4

View PostTerminX, on 16 October 2017 - 11:08 AM, said:

One time I got a call from one of those scam shops that tries to get you to let them Remote Desktop into your computer... spent 20 minutes fucking with them by following their directions on a Linux machine instead of Windows.


Yeah I got one of those a few years ago. I was meant to be studying for exams, so naturally I procrastinated by going along with the call. They told me they detected a virus and instructed me through to some window that shows all these nasty looking errors and warnings; I can't remember what the window was but apparently that's perfectly normal. I just remember they passed the phone to another person like 3 times, as if each person had a very specific role in the scam and I was being thrown up the 'sucker food chain'.
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User is offline   TerminX 

  • el fundador

  #5

Sounds like they told you to open Event Viewer.
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User is offline   Gambini 

#6

heh after being tired of telemarketers for years i now fuck around with them from time to time.

There is a specific type i prefer, which are the ones who call from the bank from which i got a loan a few years ago. They were dodgy with the conditions and fucked me up a bit by charging a lot of money that wasn't agreed on the first payment. So when they call offering me a new loan I first ask if they are from the loans section, to which they reply "of course" so then i unload all the crap as of how they fucked me up and if they could get me a refund for the unloyal move and a compensation by the injury. I stretch the tale as much as possible until they cut me up saying they can´t address my issue, to which i rethort that they said being from the loans area. Most of the times they hang up disrespectfully. :rolleyes: at least i have some fun at their expense in retribution for their scam.

This post has been edited by Gambini: 16 October 2017 - 03:51 PM

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User is offline   BestViking 

#7

It's got to suck to have that job. That's the one thought that keeps me from messing with them. Actual scammers and phishers though, that's another story. There is no moral obligation to treat them with anything resembling dignity. Not saying all the scammers are from India, but Microsoft sure seems to hire a lot of people with an Indian accent, don't they :rolleyes:

When there are lots of digits, I know it's trouble, so I just don't pick up the phone. That's how I never even talked to scammers in the first place.
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#8

View PostBestViking, on 16 October 2017 - 04:51 PM, said:

It's got to suck to have that job. That's the one thought that keeps me from messing with them.

Consider this, then: if everyone answering telemarketers' phone calls was a troll, companies would realize that telemarketing doesn't pay, so nobody would ever have to work as a telemarketer again.

This post has been edited by Altered Reality: 16 October 2017 - 06:09 PM

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User is offline   Forge 

  • Speaker of the Outhouse

#9

since I live in the united states, i put all my phone numbers on the National Do Not Call Registry. If I get solicitors, I report them to the FTC. It usually only takes once, and I never get a call from them again.
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#10

My mother trolled one once. We were down at my sisters house, and she got a call. My mom answered it, and they asked for Mrs. Mintz, well my mom trolled and, with a funny accent, said: No, but this is Pepper Mintz.
This went on for a good while, and the woman never seemed to get the hint that she was being trolled.
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#11

Next time if you get a call from a scammer w/ an Indian accent. Say "Teri Ma Ki Chut Madarchod!". Means "Your Mother's Pussy Motherfucker" in Hindi. Give it a try!
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User is offline   Radar 

  • King of SOVL

#12

I love watching YouTube videos where scammers get hacked. The call recipient tells the scammer that they can't send money without the scammer downloading a program, which has a script kiddie attached to it. It's crazy how often it works.
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