[Person of Color]

You guys cannot top this.

My brother was vegetarian for half a year then went full blown vegan.

So I was poking around in the fridge and I found some veggie bacon. MorningStar Farms brand.

I made a BLT with it. Eight slices. It tasted like Beggin' Strips. Someone fucking kill me. I literally feel my body rejecting it. And I don't mean like diarrhea, I mean eight hours of indigestion. The kind you get where your stomach is telling you "Dude...really?"

Eggs were the main ingredient. I checked the box.

Share your horror stories.

[faked]

Oh,lol,is that one funny! I ate a few bites of a pepperoni pizza the other day on a dare.What's so funny is I lost the dare [well,bet] because I AM a full blown vegetarian.Please don't call me a vegan though,'cause the "vegans" I know around here are a bunch of nuts.They think everyone should be vegan and wear plastic shoes.I may not eat meat,but I do wear leather shoes,& most of my friends eat meat.I'm okay with it.I have been a vegetarian for over 20 yrs.Sorry for being so long winded.I do think your story is much funnier than mine. Well,this is a humorous horror story.

[Zaxtor]

Well nothing recently but in the past NEARLY ate something with a maggot in it.

Bought some walnut and cracked it open.
Was gonna eat it and saw something moving when was few inches from my mouth.
Tossed it, was scared to death.
Saw closer and was a freaken maggot hibernating inside the damn nut.

[Jimmy]

One time I had Burger King.

[Kathy]

486DX2, on 26 April 2013 - 04:27 PM, said:

Eggs were the main ingredient. I checked the box.

How is eating eggs considered vegan?

[faked]

Cathy, on 26 April 2013 - 10:09 PM, said:

How is eating eggs considered vegan?

Some vegetarians eat food like fish,chicken and turkey.Eggs just might fall into the chicken category.I won't eat eggs unless it's in bread,but I love my cheese.And oh boy,do I ever HATE tofu!That crap smells and tastes awful!

[Jeff]

Worst thing that I can remember off the top of my head was eating at Dairy Queen, I ordered a burger, and the lettuce was mushy, almost as if it was expired. I felt very nauseous after eating it. Couldn't even finish 1/3 of it before getting sick. The guy who made that should have been fired.

[Kathy]

grouchbag, on 26 April 2013 - 11:36 PM, said:

Some vegetarians eat food like fish,chicken and turkey.

What kind of bullshit is that?

[Jimmy]

Vegetarians are generally retarded.

I love tofu. It's good if it's cooked properly.

[faked]

Cathy, on 26 April 2013 - 11:44 PM, said:

What kind of bullshit is that?

No bullshit. I don't consider eating fish or anything like that part of being a vegetarian,but to each his own.
And Jojo,tofu is good when made into veggie burgers and that.It's just the plain tofu I hate.I think it's okay to like it,though.And no,I'm NOT retarded.I'm an old lady,remember? No offense is taken.

[Kathy]

grouchbag, on 27 April 2013 - 12:08 AM, said:

No bullshit. I don't consider eating fish or anything like that part of being a vegetarian,but to each his own.

No, there is a definitive meaning of the word at least with relation to meat. Someone saying "I'm a vegetarian, but I eat everything except pigs" can't be vegetarian.

[Hank]

The worst dish lately was at an Indian Restaurant. I threw it all up. My acquaintances had no problems with the same meal, they are vegetarians and used to this deep fried ehmm not instantly acting poisoned food.

So that all the vegetarians around here have something to complain about me in turn, my favourite meal is the traditional Ethiopian Ketfo. Raw beef in butter.

[Kathy]

If I were a vegetarian I wouldn't complain about human's carnivorous nature.

[Mark]

But most of them do, because they feel their moral stance is superior. At least all the ones I have known.

[Hank]

@ Cathy - True, but since when is rational thought prevalent in humans?

[Inspector Lagomorf]

Golden Corral. Easily.

A close second is fried mushrooms.

[Jimmy]

grouchbag, on 27 April 2013 - 12:08 AM, said:

No bullshit. I don't consider eating fish or anything like that part of being a vegetarian,but to each his own.
And Jojo,tofu is good when made into veggie burgers and that.It's just the plain tofu I hate.I think it's okay to like it,though.And no,I'm NOT retarded.I'm an old lady,remember? No offense is taken.

You seem like you just happen to not like meat, not because of some loony moral disposition or something. Either way, you're not militant about it so I'm not talking about you. Plain tofu? Why on earth would anyone eat it that way? A Chinese restaurant around here does a tofu and broccoli stir fry that I will order over chicken and broccoli.

Hank, on 27 April 2013 - 04:24 AM, said:

So that all the vegetarians around here have something to complain about me in turn, my favourite meal is the traditional Ethiopian Ketfo. Raw beef in butter.

Man that sounds awesome.

Achenar, on 27 April 2013 - 05:54 AM, said:

Golden Corral. Easily.

I was going to upvote this post until I saw this:

Achenar, on 27 April 2013 - 05:54 AM, said:

A close second is fried mushrooms.

Which made me want to downvote it.

[Radar]

Yeah, fried mushrooms are one of my favorite foods of all time. Basically anything that has to do with mushrooms I love.

The worst foods are low-grade Chinese buffets. They will feed you mold in the corner of the kitchen and call it tofu for all they care. Apart from nothing being good when I went, I was hoping the lobster would be half descent. Little did I know that I'm semi-allergic to lobster and I almost needed an ambulance. Even worse was that this was on a road trip from Ohio to my home in Michigan and we were still far away. Luckily I survived the way home, took some Zyrtec, and went to bed.

In the grand scheme of things, my least favorite foods of all time are sweet pickles and rotten potatoes. I've honestly never tasted anything worse than those. There's also some terrible tasting sauce that Applebee's puts on some of their burgers that I can't put my finger on.

Just a side note: I don't understand the whole scandal with IKEA selling horse meat in place of beef. Horse meat is a cleaner, tastier, and more expensive meat than beef.

[Jimmy]

Mushrooms are awesome. I wouldn't take Zyrtec if I had an allergic reaction, I'd take Benadryl. Zyrtec is really just for maintaining seasonal allergies in my experience. I love Chinese buffets because I'm a cheap bastard, but yeah some of them are really abysmal. I always check the place out before they get my money or I sit at a table. I think the problem with horse meat is that it's just not something commonly eaten in Britain (or America.) Also, you can't sell horse meat labeled as beef, that's illegal. The main reason horse isn't eaten is because you have to be extra careful during slaughter. You can't mass raise them like cows or pigs, horses realize when other horses are being slaughtered and it scares the shit out of them.

[TerminX]

The worst thing I've had recently was some bullshit chicken sandwich from Sonic. I wanted the crispy chicken and none of their nasty Caesar dressing... so I ended up with grilled chicken and extra nastysauce. We live like 20 minutes from Sonic so just going back and exchanging it wasn't an option. It was so bad, I actually called and complained and now they owe me the kind of chicken sandwich I actually ordered in the first place.

Most everything else I end up eating is great, though. My wife cooks every day and we don't have a microwave anymore, so it's usually pretty decent.

[Forge]

When the military MRE was first developed they hadn't quite perfected them yet, and the military is known for filling warehouses up with supplies that sit there for years before they get cycled in the active supply system.

One morning before the crack of dawn i was on guard duty monitoring a section of the camp perimeter. It's a good time to have breakfast cause you're just sitting there in your bunker staring out at pretty much nothing. So i pop open my corned beef hash MRE and am slowly eating it and looking around. I get more than half way through when i taste something that's like licking the drainpipe in a public shower. I spit it out and set the meal aside. When it gets light enough i look in the pouch and see this whitish-greenish fuzz growing along the insides of the packet and across the corned beef hash at the bottom half of the meal.

I located the case i pulled the meal from and it was over 10 years old (which i couldn't see in the dark). Either the meal got a pin hole in it at some time during transportation out of the warehouse, or the preservative finally lost the battle with decay.
I was so afraid i was going to get sick because i ate quite a bit of it before i hit a nasty part, but i never did. in the end i was so repulsed by the taste of that one bite i couldn't eat corned beef hash anymore.

[Inspector Lagomorf]

Jimmy, on 27 April 2013 - 05:55 AM, said:

Which made me want to downvote it.

I've only had them once, and it was at a restaurant, so maybe I just had a lousy experience? I don't know, they tasted squishy and rubbery, and I have a feeling that's not how mushrooms are supposed to taste.

[Hendricks266]

The last time I couldn't eat something was when my dad made spaghetti but got the bright idea to dump a bunch of hot sauce/hot peppers into it that made it inedible. I'm sure I have a better story further in the past. Perhaps the one (and only) time I ordered a Crunchwrap Supreme from Taco Bell and it had been made with rancid oil.

Jimmy, on 27 April 2013 - 06:38 AM, said:

Mushrooms are awesome.

I generally haven't been a fan of mushrooms. However, when I was in Italy, I ordered some Ham and Mushroom [insert long word here] pasta and I ate it mushrooms and all. They were slightly crunchier than the ham, not bad.

TerminX, on 27 April 2013 - 06:59 AM, said:

we don't have a microwave anymore

I hate microwaves. They ruin food.

Microwaves work by agitating water particles in materials. Most materials (especially stuff like bread) don't take well to having only their water molecules hot so all kinds of damage is done to taste and texture.

My parents believed a chain email they got claiming that microwaving plastic wrap will leech Agent Orange (dioxin) into food. That's bullshit, but microwaving plastic or styrofoam is a terrible idea anyway, toxin-wise.

Forge, on 27 April 2013 - 07:37 AM, said:

when i taste something that's like licking the drainpipe in a public shower.

This story is the current thread winner.

That reminds me how my biology teacher has an unopened jar of peanut butter sitting on top a classroom cabinet that expired in the late 80s / early 90s. Nothing is visibly wrong with it as far as we can see, but it shall never be opened.

[faked]

Actually,I'm a vegetarian because I got tired of eating meat.No,I'm not militant about it.I fully approve of people eating meat.I just don't.I get a kick out of some one asking how I like my steak.I just say I'm a vegetarian,and a lot of times I've Had people tell me they're sorry. I don't see anything wrong with eating meat at all.I can still cook a pretty good steak for dinner guests. Most of all,I'm NOT superior to ANYONE.That's mostly why I think the vegans I know are nuts.I believe we're all equal,so that's all I'm saying. [Whoo! That was a mouthful!]

[Kathy]

I frequently cook chicken in microwave. It's quite alright.

[Ronin]

The worst thing I ever had was when I went to a so called Japanese restaurant just to try something a bit different, I ended up ordering some chilli chicken dish.
When it came out it looked ok sort of, but the "chicken" was kind of curly and when I tried to chew it it was very rubbery like over cooked calimari.
To this day I don't know what that mystery meat was but I know it was not chicken. I don't know what cat or rat meat look like so I can't compare them.
I imagine it was curly cat meat, when I got home my cat was giving me judgemental looks, which is rich coming from a creature that regularly licks his own bum n' balls.

[Jimmy]

Achenar, on 27 April 2013 - 09:24 AM, said:

I've only had them once, and it was at a restaurant, so maybe I just had a lousy experience? I don't know, they tasted squishy and rubbery, and I have a feeling that's not how mushrooms are supposed to taste.

They have a modicum of squishiness and rubberiness but if it's cooked right it's pleasing. Mushrooms are supposed to have a meaty, nutty, earthy flavour, or what the Japanese call Umami. It's not for everyone, but it is indeed easy to fuck up.

[blackharted3]

grouchbag, on 27 April 2013 - 10:25 AM, said:

Actually,I'm a vegetarian because I got tired of eating meat.

Please explain this in greater detail.

Just for the record I am NOT a vegetarian, but have no issue with them. It's vegans which annoy me. Every single one I personally met is stubborn, I know not all of them are, but I wish I could say I've met those ones.

Now onto the worst thing I've ever eaten, I agree with Grouchbag here tofu is certainly up there. The story: I was at college once and the were serving dinner as usual, the food was beyond poor and everyone did everything the could not to eat it. Anyway I was in line to get my grub and saw the menu, they were serving burger's for a change, I thought it might have some flavor and quickly snatched one up, and took a bite. Well next thing I know I tasted cardboard and something gooey, it turned out the burger's were tofu. Apparently tofu has mushroom in it so I should like it, as I love mushrooms but I don't. It tasted terrible.

Next once as part of my many jobs, I worked with my dad in the delivery business, only this time we went to different counties, like France to deliver our stock. Anyway on the way back we popped into this little cafe or baker's and I wanted this very nice looking beef roll. It wasn't beef. It was horse meat. Nuff said.

Finally I think snail is also pretty bad.

[Jimmy]

Yo dude, tofu is just soybean curd. The trick to tofu is that it has to be carefully catered to the dish, you can't just dump it in there. This is why vegetarian dishes with tofu often suck, vegetarians don't know how to season things AND you can't use meat stock and broth to flavour the tofu. Tofu has such a light flavour you can make it taste like whatever you want.

[Hendricks266]

I once read a joke:

Q: How many vegans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: I'm a better person than you.

Duel, on 27 April 2013 - 03:52 PM, said:

Apparently tofu has mushroom in it

Tofu is made from soybeans.