ThePinkus, on 16 June 2011 - 03:05 AM, said:
I'm just gonna throw it out there. Land of the Babes had a better ending than Duke Nukem Forever.
... I can't argue with that. Seeing as it did in fact have an ending.
Seriously guys, anyone who knows me, knows I LOVE Duke Nukem. Other kids had Superman or Spider man growing up. I had Duke Nukem. He is my childhood hero of supreme kick ass. I'm
not a hater.
SO when I say... Duke Nukem Forever's ending is...
not an ending. It's a rushed, short,
unsatisfying, mess. I cannot believe they cut it off the way they did. It's so abrupt, and unlike anything that Duke would ever have as an ending to one of his games.
Duke's games all have a formula behind them. Duke heads home a hero, usually adored by crowds or in heroic solitude. He'll give a witty one-liner, and at some point its implied or shown that he is bedding one or more fine and thankful ladies.
Where is the real ending? And that Press Conference? What the **** was that!? That wasn't even worth tacking on after the credits! ... And Duke already ran for President. More Guns, More Chicks, Nukem '96. They had the assets, why didn't they end the game with Duke appearing on the 'Lenoman show and answering a few questions? Something with a bit of sentimentality to it! Ya know? This is Duke Forever, the game fans waited 15 goddamn years to play... and they end it with a very shitty parody? I'm not laughing. Frankly I watched the end credits of DNF in silence, and I began to feel very empty and sad. Like... Wow, I beat Duke Forever... I beat Duke Forever. ...That was it?
You know how I would have ended the game? The President is revealed to be Proton using a hologram! You play through one final chapter where you have a flashback to the events of Duke Nukem 1, and then the very end of the game is Duke and Proton fighting man-o-ee-man-o. Insert Rise of the Triad reference/Joke because Proton will be in his hovering chair just like in the old games. After defeating him, Duke goes back to the Vegas Ruins to help rebuild. Duke returns to his penthouse, which is in ruin, but being rebuilt, If you go up to the throne room you discover dozens and dozens of women in line wanting a picture in Duke's lap. After you sit down and take a picture or two the game fades to the Lenoman show where Duke and Lenoman talk about Duke's book, saving the world, and what he plans to do next. The crowd goes wild at whatever news Duke gives, and you cut to credits.
Ya know, something that actually gives the game a goddamn climax and an ending that in some manner gives the little story there is an arc and closure? Ya know? Some basic narrative?